


Screw Pretending

by CrashingStar



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, In denial with how in love they are with each other, They both just need a hug, They keep finding excuses to kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9544658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrashingStar/pseuds/CrashingStar
Summary: Clarke Griffin needed a girlfriend and Lexa needed to tutor Clarke to gain the extra credit that she needed. Their arrangement was beneficial to each other. Pretend to date each other until graduation. Nice and simple. Except it never was just simple. For both Clarke and Lexa, pretending had never been harder.





	1. Chapter 1

Kisses were a typical thing at high school parties; well that was what Lexa thought. She had never really been to one before, and had begrudgingly came to this one only because Anya said it was a thing that every teenager had to go through, and Lexa didn’t want to miss out on anything. Yet while she was there, Lexa wished that she had.

 

During school, Lexa tried to avoid as many people as possible, usually keeping to herself. So maybe she hadn’t really thought about the whole party thing. Lexa had no idea how Anya could deal with going to these things; there were drunken teenagers everywhere. All of them were crowded into small hallways and a tiny kitchen and an even tinier living room. All of it was just one big nightmare, and it got worse when Anya had disappeared into the crowd.

 

Lexa had spent the better part of an hour trying to find her cousin, she had asked as many people as she could recognize about Anya’s whereabouts. And that went as well as expected, they either stared at her blankly or slurred some drunken nonsense. Lexa decided to give in then and make herself a drink. It was the first time Lexa had ever had an alcoholic drink and she didn’t really fancy getting totally drunk without Anya by her side, so she spent the majority of the night in a corner nursing her drink.

 

Even though the party wasn’t really her scene, Lexa couldn’t help but find it interesting. The people at this party were interesting. Everyone was drinking and the majority of people were drunk. They had a grabbed a partner and were dancing like there was no tomorrow, hands running up and down them, bodies pressed together; definitely interesting.

 

 Eventually, Lexa had walked outside to get some air. The garden was practically deserted with only a couple pressed together against the other side of the garden making out. Lexa tried not to stare at them. Instead, she swirled the remainder of her drink in the red cup pulling her phone out of her pocket. There were no texts from Anya, but she did say that the two could go at one so Lexa would just be patient and wait another half hour. At least the next thirty minutes would be relatively peaceful, or so she thought.

 

“Clarke! Princess! Wait up!” Two figures stormed from the house, a blonde girl and a boy with a stupid haircut chasing after her. “Babe!”

 

“Don’t you babe me Finn Collins. I can’t believe you!” The girl who went by the name Clarke spat out, spinning on her heel pointing a finger at him. Lexa pressed herself further into the wall, praying that the darkness swallows her up.

 

“It was one date! I asked you on one date!” Finn threw his hands into the air. Lexa couldn’t see the expression on his face but she could see Clarkes. She watched as the girls face twisted into an expression of fury.

 

“You asked me repeatedly out on a date and I said no to every one of them because you’re dating my best friend!” Clarke practically screamed and Lexa pulled a face at how much of a douche this guy was.

“Raven means nothing to me! I want you.”

 

“Well, Finn I don’t want you!” Lexa clutched her drink with both hands as she watched the two interact with rapt attention, but then her heart stopped when Clarke’s eyes locked onto her.  _Crap!_

 

“Why? Is there somebody else?” Finn seethed, taking a few steps towards Clarke. Lexa could tell that this was going to get ugly soon and subconsciously took a few steps forward. She didn’t really know what she was going to or what she could do, but Lexa had to try. But Clarke had beat her to it

 

“Yes!” Clarke stomps to a now wide-eyed Lexa and grabbed onto one her hands.

 

“This bitch? Clarke, you have to be joking?” Finn laughed, his eyes flitting between the two of them. Rage was filling Lexa and she pushed it down, desperate to ignore it. Clarke squeezed her hand and glanced over at Lexa, her eyes pleading with her to go along with it. Lexa couldn’t believe she was doing this.

 

“Erm, she’s not. So could you leave us alone” Lexa tilted her chin up staring down at Finn, it helped that she was taller than him.

 

“Bullshit! You’ve been single forever.” Finn had gone on to ignoring Lexa completely now, only addressing Clarke. Lexa was getting increasingly more pissed off with this guy.

 

“We’ve been keeping it a secret. We weren’t ready to tell our anybody yet.” Lexa said and Clarke gazed up at her.

 

Finn scoffed. “Really Princess? You refuse to date me so you pretend to date this bitch.”

 

“Don’t call her a bitch! Finn, you’re drunk and will remember none of this, so just go home.” Clarke tried to persuade him, not moving away from Lexa’s side.

 

“This is all bullshit!” Finn shouted, but before he could take a step towards them Clarke had spun Lexa around to face her and without hesitation kissed her.

 

Lexa’s eyes fluttered close as she began to kiss back. She placed a hand tentatively on Clarke’s waist and leaned in closer. Their lips moved against each other and Lexa couldn’t help but moan softly. That only urged Clarke on more. The kiss became more rushed and harder and desperate Lexa couldn’t get enough. Clarke pressed her body into Lexa and her drink fell to the floor as she wrapped both arms around Clarke’s waist.

 

Neither of them heard Finn leave, too absorbed with the other. It was the buzzing of Lexa’s phone that made them separate. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the blonde in front of her. Lexa didn’t really notice earlier but Clarke was insanely beautiful.  Her wavy blonde hair was pushed behind her ears, the flushed expression on her face as she panted breathlessly. Lexa wanted to stay in this moment forever, but her phone wouldn’t stop vibrating. She bit her now swollen lip and checked her phone.

 

Anya: Ready to go?

 

Lexa typed a quick reply and looked back up at Clarke who was staring at her with clouded blue eyes.  Lexa had no idea what to say to the girl that she had been kissing only moments ago.

 

“My friend is waiting for me,” Lexa said awkwardly, shoving her hands into her pockets to refrain from touching her still tingling lips.

 

“Right… Okay. Well, thank you for helping me out there.” Clarke shuffled from foot to foot.

 

“Anytime.” Lexa stood there a moment. “Well, I’ll see you around.” She didn’t wait for Clarke’s response before dashing into the house and towards the front door where Anya was waiting for her.

 

“Sorry, we got a little separated Cuz.” Anya held the door open for her, a guilty smile on her face.

 

“Don’t worry about. It’s fine.” Lexa headed towards her car with Anya trailing behind her. “Did you have fun?”

 

“You’re looking at the beer pong champion. Raven spent all night trying to defeat me. She’s completely pissed. Did you have a good time?”

 

Lexa’s mind traveled back to the last half hour and more specifically Clarke. A giddy smile appeared on her face. “Yeah, I did.”

 

 

Monday morning came far too quickly for Lexa’s liking. As much as she did enjoy going to school, her mind was still stuck on the events of Friday’s party. She couldn’t get Clarke and that kiss out of her head. There was a content smile on her face was prominent through Saturday and Sunday.  Her Uncle Gustus didn’t say anything about Lexa’s sudden change but Anya and Aden certainly did. She never answered any of their questions; Lexa was good at avoiding answering them.

 

“She’s still happy.” Aden not so subtly whispered to Anya that morning as Lexa came down for breakfast. Anya smirked into her orange juice but didn’t say anything.

 

“You two leave Lexa alone.” Uncle Gus smiled at her as he handed her an omelet.

 

“Sure thing Dad.” Aden mocked salute, a grin on his face.

 

“She’s been happy since that party,” Anya spoke up. “I think she hooked up with a girl.”

 

Lexa shook her head at her cousin’s antics before eating her breakfast. She was used to their teasing, practically immune to it by now.

 

“Lexa, isn’t today the first day of your tutoring?” Uncle Gustus asked and Lexa perked up at the mention of that.

 

“They haven’t told me who the person is yet, but apparently the girl is in our year and is failing every subject other than art,” Lexa told them as she finished her breakfast and placed her knife and fork together on the plate.

 

“Sounds like they gave you a hopeless case,” Anya muttered but Lexa shook her head.

 

“I don’t think so. All they need is to catch up on some stuff and they should be all good.” Lexa had to be optimistic. This tutoring thing is going to be a good thing Lexa could feel it.

 

The drive to school was spent as it always did, with Lexa driving and Anya and Aden arguing about the radio station. It was peaceful, the type of normality that Lexa liked. She wondered if she would see Clarke at all today or if Clarke would seek her out? Lexa couldn’t have been only to feel as if their entire body was set alight while they were kissing? Well, she hoped she wasn’t the only one.

 

Once Lexa had parked the car in her usual spot, Aden wasted no time in rushing out of the car throwing a quick goodbye over his shoulder. Anya looked over at her, “Ready to go kid.”

 

“You are literally a few months older than me. Stop calling me a kid.” Lexa laughed as she got out of the car.

 

“Never.”

 

Once the two had walked through the front doors, Lexa could feel the change in the atmosphere. It was as if all eyes were on her, and Lexa could feel herself shrink under their gaze. She held her breath as she fiddled with her sleeves. She hated how they suddenly began to stare and whisper at her. Before Lexa could slip through these hallways unnoticed, she preferred it that way.

 

“Anya, everybody is staring at me,” Lexa whispered to her.

 

“I don’t think they are.” Anya’s brows furrowed as she glanced around the corridor before looking back at Lexa. “Just ignore them anyways.”

 

“I am,” She hissed. “But I would prefer it if they ignored me.”

 

The rest of the day continued on like that. People would stare and whisper, while others would offer congratulations, all the while Lexa was left confused about everything. She didn’t know these people. Why on earth would they congratulate her on anything? It was a relief when Lexa finally entered the library at the end of the day and sat down in her usual seat, taking out everything she would need for her tutoring session. While she waited for the person to arrive she spent the time organizing everything and checking things off in her internal checklist: paper, textbooks, pens, snacks healthy and organic. Lexa was prepared, and she tapped her foot nervously as she looked anxiously at the clock.

 

So the girl was only ten minutes late and Lexa was not freaking out over it. She was calm and totally not tapping her pen against the desk, not tearing her eyes from the clock. If the girl wasn’t here in another ten minutes then Lexa would have to ask for another student to tutor. She wasn’t going to allow one girl to ruin this for her.

 

The door slammed open and Lexa looked over to see what the commotion was about. Her eyes widened when she saw Clarke from the party. She was wearing casual clothes with faded paint on the jeans. Lexa could feel her heart speed up as her eyes followed Clarke walk to the reception. There was an unsure look on Clarke’s face as if she hadn’t set foot in the library before. She murmured something to the librarian who pointed at Lexa. Clarke turned round and when her eyes locked with Lexa’s they widened. All Lexa could think of was that Clarke remembered her.

 

Clarke walked over to Lexa’s table and hovered near the chair. “So you’re Lexa Woods?” She nodded and Clarke continued talking. “Looks like you’re my tutor.”

 

Lexa’s mouth dropped open in surprise and she struggled to find something appropriate to say. “You’re late.” Was what Lexa managed to say.

 

Clarke smirked as she slid into the seat opposite her, dumping her bag on the floor. She rested her head on her hand and stared intently at Lexa. “Did you enjoy the party on Friday?”

 

Lexa wanted to avert her eyes but found it impossible to tear her eyes away from Clarke. “Yes, I did.”

 

A grin formed its way onto Clarke's face at her answer and Lexa knew that Clarke didn’t mean the party but what happened at the party. Lexa cleared her throat. “I’ve made us a study timetable telling you when and what we’ll be doing.”

 

She handed Clarke the sheet of paper that she had spent ages on, she glanced at it before placing it to the side ignoring it. “I have something I need to tell you first.”

 

“Err okay.”

 

“You know when you pretended to date me on Friday to get Finn off my back. Well apparently, the whole school believes we’re dating for real.” Clarke told her. Lexa blinked a couple of times as the words registered in her head.

 

“Excuse me, what?”

 

“The school thinks we’re dating and I kind of went along with it,” Clarke admitted, a guilty expression on her face. Lexa could feel her jaw clench.

 

“Is that why people have been congratulating me all day?”

 

Clarke shrugged. “Probably. I’m not really known for having a relationship.”

 

Lexa couldn’t stop her face from turning into a scowl. “How did this happen?”

 

“Apparently some people overheard us telling Finn we were a couple and decided to tell everyone.” Clarke rolled her eyes but didn’t seem to be as affected by it as Lexa was.

 

“We have to tell everyone that we’re not,” Lexa demanded. Clarke ran a hand through her hair and leaned forward.

 

“Or we could keep pretending.” Before Lexa could cry anything in protest, Clarke continued speaking. “Hear me out before you say anything. You pretending to be my girlfriend will help me get Finn and other people off my back and in return I will allow you to tutor me.”

 

“But I’m your tutor anyways,” Lexa said, her face scrunching up in confusion.

 

“There is a reason why I’m failing my classes. I’m impossible to teach. I barely show up to class and I deliberately answer all the questions wrong.” Clarke smirked as she leaned back in her chair crossing her legs. “But if you were my girlfriend, I suppose I would have such a good reason to actually show up.”

 

Lexa bit her lip as she considered Clarke’s offer. Lexa needed this tutoring to go well. She picked the student that would have needed the most work because she needed all the credits that she could get. How bad could being Clarke’s girlfriend be?

 

“Alright, I’ll do it,” Lexa said. Clarke’s grins were full and lit up her entire face and Lexa felt weak in the knees.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Honestly, Clarke didn’t think Lexa was going to agree to this at all. She had to admit asking someone to be her pretend girlfriend was a crazy idea, even Clarke wouldn’t agree to it. Yet Lexa had and Clarke couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

 

“But if I’m going to do this I want to set some rules,” Lexa said and the smile faltered slightly. That was fair, Clarke had to remind herself of that. Clarke needed this. Her issue with Finn was getting creepy that it got to the point where she could no longer be around him, all because of one mistake. It was probably one of the biggest regrets Clarke has.

 

She wasn’t one for relationships. It was something that the whole school knew. Clarke was known for having one-night stands that meant nothing. But over time it had become a sort of challenge for everyone to try and date her like she was some prize to be won. Once she had found out about this, she stopped having one-night stands and just stayed within her small group of friends. That was until Finn. She had no idea that he was dating Raven at the time that she had let her guard down and slept with him. The guilt that she carried with her after that was overwhelming and Clarke hated herself for being so vulnerable around someone who just wanted to use her.

 

“That’s fair. I have some rules for you too.” Lexa looked taken aback for a moment before her face turned back to neutral. Clarke thought it was strange that she seemed so captivated by Lexa’s face. This was her best bet. Lexa seemed nice and had defended Clarke during the party. She hated putting Lexa in this situation, but Clarke was practically hanging off the edge of insanity right now.

 

“Understandable.” Lexa nodded but it seemed more to herself then it was to Clarke. “First of all, I need to know why do you need me to be your girlfriend?”

 

Clarke bit her lip as she considered not answering Lexa’s question, but she owed the girl that much. “Well, you know my issue with Finn. I really need him to leave me alone and…” Clarke hesitated for a moment. She waited for Lexa to demand an answer from her yet when she looked across the table at Lexa there was a look of understanding and patience on her face that warmed her heart. “And I just want people to leave me alone.”

 

“And you think dating me would help?” Lexa asked.

 

“It’s worth a try.” Clarke shrugged, fidgeting in her seat. “So rules?”

 

“Yes, rules.” Lexa leaned forward and grabbed a piece of paper and pen ready to start writing. Clarke furrowed her eyebrows as she watched Lexa get herself organized it was odd but surprisingly endearing. “I think if we want to make this as authentic as possible we have to agree not to see other people.”

 

“Well, I am a one woman type of girl.” Clarke flashed Lexa a grin, and her eyes lit up as Lexa’s cheeks turned slightly red. Lexa cast her eyes downward as she quickly scribbled down the first rule. “Are you really writing them all down?”

 

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” Lexa challenged Clarke with her eyes but Clarke could only grin.

 

“Nope, no problem at all. How do you feel about PDA?” Clarke could see Lexa hesitate. “Because if we want to make it authentic then we should do PDA.”

 

“Yes, I know,” Lexa said quickly.

 

“It shouldn’t be a problem seeing as we have already kissed.” Clarke wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, laughing when Lexa turned beat red.

 

“No, I’m perfectly fine with PDA.” Lexa cleared her throat as she scribbled it down. “But nothing too much. You also have to attend every tutoring session.”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes but agreed to it. “You have to be my date to parties.”

 

“Every party?” Lexa groaned. Clarke nodded eagerly and Lexa reluctantly wrote it down. They went back and forth for a while, and Clarke noticed that she hadn’t smiled this much in a long time. It was nice.

 

At some point during their discussion, their chairs ended up next to each other causing their shoulders to bump together every now and again. Clarke could feel the heat radiating off of Lexa’s body and she had to fight the urge to move closer.

 

“I think we have a good set of rules.” Lexa mused to herself as she looked at the sheet of paper, before looking at the time. “We’ve been here for an hour and we haven’t done any studying.”

 

“Oh no, what a shame,” Clarke said sarcastically. Lexa rolled her eyes and softly elbowed her in the side.

 

“I’m serious.”

 

“So we’ll start tomorrow,” Clarke said, and she could see how Lexa wanted to argue with her about it. However, Lexa nodded.

 

“Are we going to lie to everyone about this?” Lexa asked as she looked at Clarke and Clarke was stunned to silence by the sheer intensity of the green in Lexa’s eyes. It didn’t register to her that she was just staring. “Because I think the only person who wouldn’t believe this is my cousin Anya. So I’m thinking that it would be a lot easier to tell her.”

 

Clarke blinked a couple of times before answering. “As long as she can keep it a secret.”

 

Lexa smiled softly. “I better get going.”

 

Clarke ignored the disappointment she was feeling. “So soon?”

 

“My Uncle usually does dinner for six and I don’t really like being late.” Lexa gathered all of her stuff into a pile.

 

“So this thing will start tomorrow right?”

 

“Of course.” Lexa shoved everything into her bag and stood up, Clarke did the same.

 

“Remember to just go with the flow,” Clarke said as she followed Lexa out of the library. The school was practically deserted now, with only a few students milling about. So Clarke shouldn’t be worried about people seeing them not as a couple so soon, but she couldn’t shake the thought that Finn or a buddy of his would walk around the corner any minute. She reached over and gently grabbed hold of Lexa’s hand.

 

“Just in case.” She whispered into Lexa’s ear. She breathed a quick sigh of relief when Lexa didn’t pull her hand away but instead entwined their fingers. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise, but she immediately relaxed. When they walked outside, Clarke could hear the shouts from the field and knew that the cheerleaders and sports teams were still out. A knot formed in her stomach, she knew Finn was out there with the rest of the football team.

 

“You okay?” Lexa asked her, concern in her eyes.

 

“I’m fine.” The lie slipped off her tongue before she could even consider telling the truth. “You got a lift?”

 

“I’ve got my car. How are you getting home?” Lexa asked, pulling her keys out of her bag as they got nearer to her car.

 

“I’m driving.” They stood there and Clarke could feel the tension in the air. It had suddenly turned awkward and Clarke wanted it to go back to how they were in the library. “So you’ve got my number?”

 

“I do, and I will text you later,” Lexa told her and Clarke nodded. She didn’t really know what to do now. Was she supposed to hug Lexa goodbye or just do nothing? Clarke just opted to do nothing. Her hand slipped from Lexa’s and she immediately missed it.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Clarke said before spinning on her heel and hurrying off towards her car. She had to get out of there; the air that surrounded them was tense and suffocating. Clarke hoped that she hadn’t made a huge mistake. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

 

**Octavia:** How’d it go???

 

Clarke got into her car before typing out a reply.

 

**Clarke:** She agreed to it.

**Octavia:** That’s great! Why don’t you seem excited about that?

 

Clarke decided to reply to that text when she had gotten home. That would give her time to think of a good enough reason to why she wasn’t happy about it.

 

* * *

 

Clarke waited in the car park for Lexa to show up, tight knots formed in her stomach the longer she had to wait. Octavia stood next to her, offering her words of encouragement but it fell on deaf ears. Clarke was far too nervous. She could feel Finn’s eyes on her from across the car park, which didn’t help, and Lexa was running late. They had texted a little last night and Lexa gave no signs of backing out last night, so Clarke just assumed that the plan would just continue.

 

“So you’re dating until graduation?” Octavia asked and Clarke nodded.

 

“That’s the plan.”

 

“That’s almost an entire year. Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

 

Clarke swallowed, “Yeah I’m sure.” That was one thing that Clarke was certain of. Her eyes followed a car that was sure was Lexa’s. Lexa stepped out of her car and Clarke’s heart sped up. There was something about Lexa that Clarke finds so endearing. She had a cute concentration face, and when she smiles Clarke thought she was beautiful. She waved her hand slightly and Lexa started walking towards her, her cousin Anya beside her.

 

Clarke cleared her throat and smiled brightly when Lexa got closer. “Hey, babe.” She said, grabbing a hold of Lexa’s hand and placing a kiss on her cheek. She ignored the pounding of her heart. Lexa played the part exceptionally well. Lexa’s cheek heated up where Clarke had kissed, and she entwined their fingers.

 

“You two may just pull this off,” Anya mumbled, her eyes narrowing at Clarke. She wanted to cower under the intensity of Anya’s gaze, but instead, Clarke straightened her back. She refused to show Anya how terrified she actually was of her. Anya smirked and stalked off, but not before patting Lexa on the back. Clarke felt her shoulders relax.

 

“Don’t worry I trust Anya to not say anything,” Lexa told her and Clarke believed her.

 

“How did it go last night?” Clarke asked. She could feel the stares on them. There was no backing out now.

 

“Aden wasn’t happy that I kept a secret from him but he was fine with it an hour later, and Uncle Gustus was just happy for me,” Lexa said as they started walking into the school. At some point during their conversation Octavia had disappeared from Clarke’s side, probably to go find Raven. “How did your parents take it?”

 

“I haven’t told my Mom. She wasn’t home so I’ll just tell her whenever I see her.” Clarke didn’t bring up her Dad and she was thankful Lexa never said anything. She took one last calming breath before opening the door and allowing Lexa to walk in first. They had planned all of this yesterday and Clarke were glad that Lexa said that it would be beneficial if they were to plan it. Now Clarke could breathe easily knowing that they would go to Lexa’s locker first, then Clarke’s and then they would meet each other up for lunch.

 

Once they had got Lexa’s locker, Lexa slipped her hand from Clarke’s. “Everyone is staring at us.”

 

Clarke leaned her shoulder against the locker before replying. “Well, we are a super hot couple.” Clarke winked when Lexa looked over at her.

 

“I still don’t like the staring,” Lexa admitted.

 

“We could give them a reason to stare.” Clarke teased wriggling her eyebrows.

 

Lexa hesitated for a moment before answering, “No we can’t do that.” Clarke was only slightly disappointed but she pushed that to the back of her mind. That was not something to focus on right now.

 

“Don’t worry. Give them a week and no one will care about us.” Lexa shut her locker door and grabbed a hold of Clarke’s hand again. This was something Clarke could get used to.

 

“With the way, people were congratulating me yesterday, I don’t think they will,” Lexa commented, leading Clarke down the corridor to Clarke’s locker. She didn’t question how Lexa knew where it was, just followed the girl that had a soft grip on her hand.

 

“I still say we give them a really good reason to talk about us,” Clarke suggested.

 

“We’re already dating.”

 

“Then we become the best couple this school has ever seen!” Clarke said enthusiastically, nudging her shoulder against Lexa’s.

 

“Even more so than Monty and Miller?”

 

“Even more than them.” Clarke grinned, and it widened when she saw Lexa smile. They stopped off at Clarke’s locker, but it was only a quick spot. Her locker was completely empty apart from the couple of energy drinks that Clarke stored there for when she had to go to morning lessons.

 

“That’s seriously all you have in your locker?” Lexa asked a disgusted look on her face as she eyed the can that Clarke was holding.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How can you drink that?” Lexa reached out for the can but Clarke moved it out of her reach.

 

“Quite easy actually.” Clarke grinned as Lexa’s face scrunched up in frustration. “Why are you trying to take this from me?”

 

“Because it’s extremely unhealthy.” Lexa tried to reach for it again.

 

“But it helps me concentrate.” Clarke pouted and she saw Lexa falter for just a second and it made Clarke’s heart skip a beat. By this point they had gathered the attention of a small crowd who were all trying to discreetly look at the couple, Lexa noticed too as a sly smile appeared on her face.

 

“How about I give you something else to concentrate on?” Clarke didn’t have the chance to question what Lexa meant by that, as Lexa’s lips were on hers and her eyes fluttered closed. Clarke kissed back getting completely lost in it that she forgot that they were in a hallway with students gawping at them and she definitely forgot that she and Lexa were not a couple. Lexa deepened the kiss and Clarke responded just as eagerly before Lexa abruptly pulled away.

 

Clarke’s eyes opened to see Lexa smirking at her, holding the can between her slender fingers. Clarke didn’t even notice her taking it “See you at lunch Clarke.” Lexa sauntered away down the corridor and Clarke watched her go, her mouth still hanging open from the kiss.

 

The murmurs around her reminded Clarke that she wasn’t alone. She coughed a couple of times to regain her composure before walking to her first class. She did promise Lexa that she would start going to her classes.

 

“Well, that was convincing,” Octavia said with raised eyebrows as appeared next to Clarke.

 

Clarke decided to change the topic away from the kiss. “What did Raven say?”

 

“She’s really happy for you and that she want’s details all about it after school,” Octavia said and Clarke felt sick with guilt.

 

“I have to tell her right?”

 

“That you slept with her boyfriend? I think a part of her already knows, she’s just too afraid to say anything.”

 

“So just continue to be ignorant?” Clarke didn’t know whether she could do that for much longer. Octavia didn’t answer her question and the two drifted into silence. Clarke didn’t want to think about how she had betrayed Raven’s trust, instead, Clarke thought about Lexa and her whole body seemed to relax.

 

“Clarke do you want my honest opinion?” Octavia spoke up and Clarke nodded. “I think this is going to create my a bigger problem than it already is. This thing you have going on with Lexa is not going to turn out the way you want it. One of you is going to get hurt.”

 

“We’re not going to get hurt.” Clarke scoffed.

 

“This is just like a terrible cliché.”

 

“Lexa and I are just friends.” Clarke tried to convince Octavia who didn’t seem to believe a word that Clarke was saying.

 

“Friends who are basically a couple,” Octavia said, but Clarke just shook her head. They were just friends. Clarke tried to believe that, but her lips were still tingling from the kiss that Lexa had given her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter. I loved reading all of them. At the moment I think each chapter will alternate between Clarke's and Lexa's POV which should be fun. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please leave a review :D


	3. Chapter 3

Aden slid into the seat opposite Lexa, and she eyed him suspiciously. As much as she loved her cousin, he only ever talked to her during school when he wanted something. He smiled innocently at her and Lexa just rolled her eyes. She looked over Aden’s shoulder and saw his best friend Nym standing behind him. Lexa motioned with her head and the girl smiled brightly and sat beside Aden.

 

“What do you pair want?” Lexa asked.

 

“Can’t I just sit with my favorite cousin?” Lexa narrowed her eyes slightly and Aden sighed heavily. “We want to see Clarke.”

 

Nym shook her head, “You would be terrible under torture.”

 

Aden shrugged before turning back to Anya. “So where is she?”

 

“Lunch just started.”

 

“I think that Clarke should come round for dinner one night. So we can really get to know her.” He grinned and Lexa felt her heart begin to beat faster. Uncle Gustus couldn’t meet Clarke; as soon as he does he’ll know straight away it’s all a lie.

 

“I don’t think so.”  She said quickly.

 

“Why not?” Aden asked, cocking his head slightly. “Are you embarrassed by us? I promise not to show any of your baby photos.”

 

“Lexa’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t have my baby pictures.”

 

“Well, I guess that’s something that you just have to find out.” A cheeky grin appeared on Aden’s face as Nym began to smirk. The two of them had always been troublemakers and it was exhausting.

 

“Aden I swear to god-“

 

“Aden, why are you sitting here?” Lexa looked up to see Anya standing beside her before sitting down. “Nym.”

 

“Anya,” Nym responded, nodding her head.

 

“I want to see Lexa with Clarke! Don’t you think we should invite Clarke round for dinner one night?” Aden asked and Lexa cursed under her breath.

 

A devilish grin appeared on Anya’s face and Lexa’s head landed on the table with a bang. “That is a fantastic idea, Aden. I’m sure Dad would love to get to know Lexa’s new girlfriend.”

 

She groaned loudly and pulled out her phone to send a quick text to Clarke.

 

Lexa: Be warned. Whenever you show up Aden and his friend, are going to interrogate you.

 

It didn’t take long for Clarke to text back.

 

Clarke: Can’t wait. Don’t worry I’m almost there.

 

“Who you texting Lexa?” Aden asked, but the smile on his face revealed that he knew exactly who she was texting.

 

“I hate you all,” Lexa grumbled folding her arms across her chest.

 

“But I’m your favorite cousin?” Both Aden and Anya said at the same time, which caused the two of them to start arguing. Lexa zoned them out, something that she had perfected over the years. She craned her neck to try and spot Clarke amongst the crowd of teens. But Lexa couldn’t see any blonde hair that she recognized.

 

“Looking for me?” Lexa looked up and saw Clarke standing beside her, and a warm smile appeared on Lexa’s face.

 

“Actually I was looking for another blonde girlfriend of mine,” Lexa responded and she shocked herself with how easy she was founding all of this. She chose not to dwell on it for long, though, instead Lexa focused on Clarke’s face. Clarke’s blue eyes were filled with warmth as a playful smile appeared.

 

“Oh really?” Clarke sat down on the other side of Lexa and placed a gentle kiss on Lexa’s lips. Clarke moved her head away from Lexa’s to look at the rest of the table. Lexa was still a little bit dazed by the kiss, but she decided that was only because Clarke was an excellent kisser.

 

“Who is this cutie?” Clarke asked and both Aden and Nym grinned.

 

“Thanks.” They both said at the same time.

 

Aden rolled his eyes before continuing to speak. “I’m Aden, Lexa’s favorite cousin and this is my best friend Nym. It’s great to finally meet you!”

 

“Nice to meet you too. Lexa’s told me all about you.” That was a lie, Lexa hadn’t told Clarke anything about her family. She was amazed though by how effortless the Clarke could lie about this situation. She was certainly a natural.

 

Aden perked up at that, “Did she? Because Lexa has told us nothing about you.”

 

She wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. Lexa narrowed her eyes at her cousin but that achieved nothing.

 

Thankfully Clarke was good at improvising. “We wanted to make sure what we had was serious before we told anyone.” Clarke smiled at Lexa and she immediately smiled back. Lexa took Clarke’s hand and rested them on the table.

 

“I’m sure my Dad would love to meet you. You should come round to dinner tonight.” Aden suggested.

 

“I would love to but Lexa has a strict tutoring schedule and she’s supposed to be helping me with History later,” Clarke said. Lexa had completely forgotten about that, but she didn’t think Clarke would remember. “And then it’s my turn to treat Lexa to dinner.”  Lexa tried to not allow confusion to show on her face, she didn’t know about this. Just roll with it, she reminded herself.

 

“Is that tonight?” Lexa asked her eyes trained on the side of Clarke’s face.

 

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, Polis diner wasn’t that where you wanted to go?”

 

She had no idea how Clarke knew her favorite place to go eat, but it made the butterflies in her stomach awake and go crazy. All Lexa could do was nod her head and place a quick kiss on Clarke’s cheek.

 

“You guys are adorable,” Aden had a happy smile on his face and Lexa could tell that he wasn’t too bothered by it. “Maybe some other time then?”

 

“I can’t wait,” Clarke said genuinely and the conversation moved away from Clarke to the day that Aden and Nym have had.

 

Lexa leaned over and whispered in Clarke’s ear. “You actually going to buy me dinner?”

 

A small smile appeared on Clarke’s face. “I just might. It’s the least I can do. It also gives us some time to think of a good story.”

 

Lexa nodded. “We’ll do that over dinner. We have to get started with your studying.”

 

“I’m sure I can think of better things to do other than studying,” Clarke whispered and Lexa didn’t know whether the raspy voice that Clarke used was just in her head. Those deep blue eyes were captivating and Lexa was considering taking Clarke up on that offer.

 

She blinked a couple of times, “We actually have to study.”

 

Clarke pouted and Lexa could feel her resolve cracking. “Fine.” Clarke leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder and she felt herself relax. Lexa didn’t realize that she could feel this content in a long time.

 

* * *

 

Lexa walked into the library at exactly 4:00 pm and paused in the doorway. She could see the table that she always sits at but it wasn’t empty; Clarke was sitting there, a couple of texts books surrounding her as she messed about her phone. Lexa couldn’t tear her eyes away from Clarke. The butterflies from earlier were back full force and they were uncontrollable. She ignored them the best as she could as she walked towards the blonde. But it became harder to do so when Clarke grinned at her.

 

“Just to let you know,” Clarke said as Lexa sat down at her usual seat. “This is going to be hard and frustrating for the both of us.”

 

“I like a challenge,” Lexa said as she rummaged through her bag and brought out her own history textbook and a bag of chocolates out. Clarke’s eyes were locked onto the chocolates and Lexa smirked. Looks like her plan is going to work.

 

“That’s my favorite kind of chocolate,” Clarke said her eyes lighting up as she went to grab the bag. Lexa was quicker and moved it away.

 

“If you get an answer right you get a chocolate.” Lexa’s smirk grew as Clarke began to protest. “Think of this as a reward.”

 

Clarke’s mouth dropped open slightly. “You’re evil. Pure evil.”

 

“If it get’s you to study then I don’t care.” Lexa shrugged. “Alright, when was the American revolutionary war?”

 

Clarke sighed and rested her head on her hand. “A long time ago.”

 

“Serious answer Clarke.”

 

“Ugh fine. The 1700’s?” Clarke said already getting irritable. Lexa smiled and handed her a chocolate.

 

“It started in 1765 and ended in 1783. But you were close.” Lexa nudged Clarke’s side gently, and the frown that was on Clarke’s face disappeared.

 

They went on like that for a little over an hour, Lexa giving Clarke questions and Clarke trying to answer them. It hadn’t taken long for Clarke to give up with her sarcastic answers and actually try, and eventually, a smile began to grow on Clarke’s face.

 

Lexa was about to ask one more question when the textbook closed. “No more,” Clarke whispered and Lexa was suddenly aware of how close they were. “I don’t think my brain could take it.”

 

All Lexa could think about was how badly she wanted to kiss Clarke right in this moment. Her intense blue eyes were staring into Lexa’s, her lips slightly parted. Lexa really tried to not stare at them.

 

“Maybe just one more question?” Lexa asked with a teasing smile. Clarke shook her head, not moving away. Behind her, Lexa could see a group of giggling and staring at the two of them. “They’re people staring at us.”

 

“Yeah?” Clarke whispered and Lexa was certain that Clarke’s eyes dropped down to her lips. “Maybe we should give them something to stare at.” Clarke’s voice was barely audible as she leaned forward and Lexa found herself leaning forward as well.

 

Just before their lips touched Lexa moved away. “Dinner?”

 

“Wha-?” Clarke mumbled, a dazed expression on her face. Lexa laughed as she began to pack away everything and stand up.

 

“Clarke, are you coming?” Lexa asked as she held a hand out for Clarke to take. The blonde stared at it for a moment before gently grabbing it. “Is it okay if you drive? Anya took my car keys.”

 

All the blonde could do was nod as Lexa led the two of them out of the school and towards the car park. “So we’re getting our story together then?” Clarke finally said.

 

“I think it’s for the best, especially if you’re going to be meeting my Uncle anytime soon,” Lexa said and Clarke nodded.

 

“But first I need a burger and a milkshake. Then we can talk.” Clarke let go of Lexa’s hand when they go her car and held out the passenger side door for Lexa.

 

“How chivalrous of you.” Lexa grinned as she got into the car. Clarke got into the driver's side and Lexa’s thoughts were dominated by the almost kiss that the two shared. She knew she wanted it. In that moment Lexa knew that she could have kissed her and there would be no repercussions. She knew Clarke wanted to as well, and it would have been so easy just to finish leaning in. But then Lexa was brought back to reality and she knew that kissing Clarke is a bad idea. A very bad idea.

 

The drive to Polis Diner was quiet, but it was a peaceful kind of quiet. Clarke had turned the radio on softly and a pop song came on that Lexa didn’t really recognize, but she admired the way that Clarke bounded her head to the rhythm of the song and the way her blonde waves moved with her. It was a beautiful sight.

 

The diner was filled with groups of teenagers all crammed around small tables laughing and talking loudly as waitresses expertly maneuvered around them as they set down plates of food and drinks.

 

“I think I see a booth over there,” Clarke said, dragging Lexa over to the other side of the diner. Lexa could hear the murmuring of hers and Clarke’s name as they walked past them. It seems as if they would have to keep their act going whilst there here.

 

“Are you still okay with keeping it up?” Lexa asked in a hushed voice as they sat down.

 

Clarke glanced around the diner before nodding. “Piece of cake right.”

 

It didn’t take long for the waitress to come over and grin a little too happy to be natural. “Welcome to Polis Diner. What can I get you?”

 

“I’ll have a double cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake,” Clarke said handing her menu to the waitress.

 

“Just a burger with a side of salad and iced water please.” The waitress nodded and hurried off.

 

“A salad?” Clarke asked a grin on her face. “And a water? Are you one of those health nuts?”

 

The waitress appeared again and placed the drinks on them. Clarke took a sip of her milkshake.

 

“I just exercise a lot and I don’t want to get too unfit,” Lexa admitted with a shrug.

 

“So you’re like one of those people who jog and consider themselves an fit?” There was joy in Clarke’s eyes as she continued to sip her milkshake.

 

“Not really. I go to the gym every weekend morning and spend a couple of hours there. I go jogging every other morning before school.” Lexa shrugged and Clarke coughed violently. “Are you okay?” Lexa asked concerned.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Clarke wheezed out, her cheeks red. “I just had no idea you were so fit.”

 

Lexa grinned and took a small sip of her water. “Fit eh?”

 

“Oh shut up,” Clarke mumbled, her cheeks burning bright. “So how did we first meet?”

 

“We met out jogging?” Clarke shook her head. “In the library?”

 

“I had only set foot in the library yesterday. Something more believable like the gym?” Clarke offered and Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Do you go the gym?”

 

“Okay how about I saw you coming out of the gym and then I decided to introduce myself,” Clarke said and Lexa nodded.

 

“Sounds good. We just have to figure out why we kept a secret and for how long.” Lexa said as the waitress came over carrying their food.

 

“A double cheeseburger for blonde and a simple burger for the blonde’s girlfriend. Enjoy.” The Waitress smiled brightly before rushing off to go serve another table. Lexa picked up her fork and started stabbing her lettuce.

 

“I actually have an answer to that,” Clarke nibbled on a couple of cheeks. “It was three or four weeks ago and we kept it a secret because we wanted to make sure what we had was real and that I wasn’t out to my Mom.”

 

Lexa paused mid bite. “Wait, you’re not out to your Mom yet? Clarke, I’m so sorry-“

 

“Lexa there’s nothing to be sorry about it. This is probably the best way to do it,” Clarke shrugged her shoulders, taking a bite of her burger. “So how about that?”

 

“Yeah. I suppose we just get to know each other now.” Lexa said and Clarke nodded her head enthusiastically.

 

They must have sat there for hours just talking and eating. Lexa was certain that this she had never laughed this much before in her life. Her smile was so bright that her cheeks hurt when the finally left the diner well into the night, their hands clasped together Lexa had never been so happy. The only downside that Lexa could think of this evening was the fact that she had to keep reminding herself that none of this was real.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the past week, Clarke had become very good at ignoring things. She ignored the way her stomach tied itself together every time Lexa held her hand and the way her lips tingled whenever she kissed her. Clarke ignored the role of Octavia eye’s and her Mom’s questions. None of that mattered anyway; all that mattered was that she got to spend time with Lexa and they were both happy. It was actually the happiest Clarke had felt in a long time.

 

“Are you seriously texting her again?” Raven asked as she peered over Clarke’s shoulder. “It’s been two day’s since you last saw her. I’ve never seen you this hung up on somebody before.”

 

Like any other weekend, Raven was spending the Saturday and Sunday at Clarke’s house. It was a tradition that the pair has had since the beginning of middle school that Clarke couldn’t imagine a time where they wouldn’t do this.

 

“Do you mind?” Clarke asked trying to shield her phone from Raven’s prying eyes.

 

“What are you trying to hide?” Raven grinned, as she leaned her body against Clarke’s.

 

“Nothing!” Clarke cried, her cheek flaming. “It’s just when she’s been working out, she get’s a little health crazy. Right now she’s trying to stop me from drinking soda.” Clarke couldn’t help the smile that was on her face.

 

“Just putting it out there, you dating someone who works out is weird.”

 

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Clarke mumbled and Raven rolled her eyes.

 

“Of course you don’t! You’re dating the girl who more than likely has abs.” A grin slowly made it’s way onto Raven’s face when she noticed that Clarke’s cheek had gone bright red.

 

“Lexa does not have abs!” Clarke spluttered out. Ever since that night at the diner when Lexa had first told her that she had spent a lot of time working out, Clarke couldn’t get the image of Lexa in a sports bra and running shorts exercising. Sometimes it was all Clarke could think about and there were times where Clarke just wished she were wrong.

 

“You want to see though right?” Raven asked seriously. Clarke bit her lip; she wondered how to answer Raven’s question. Whether she should say the answer that she borrowed deep down or just lie. She was already lying to many people and she wasn’t going to tell Raven the whole truth anytime soon.

 

Clarke nodded “Yeah I do.”

 

“Then do it! See your god damn girlfriend’s abs!” Raven called out throwing her hands up in the air. Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. It was easy to pretend that everything was okay when it was just her hanging out with Raven. There was no panicking about whether people believe them or whether Lexa was going to kiss her. “I’m hungry. I’m gonna grab a snack, you want anything?” Raven asked standing up. Clarke shook her head before turning her attention back to her phone.

 

 **Lexa:** Why don’t you go jogging with me sometime?

 

 **Clarke:** Because jogging is evil! And I have better things to do with my time.

 

Clarke hoped that Lexa didn’t read to into the text and freak out. Thankfully it didn’t take long for Lexa to text back but Clarke could feel her heart pounding in anticipation.

 

 **Lexa:** What do you like to do?

**Clarke** : I like to draw. 

 

She hesitated before she hit send. Usually, she didn’t like sharing that part of her. Clarke knew she was better than most, but for the past couple of years, Clarke had stopped being so confident in her drawings. She still drew but every time she attempted to put pencil to paper, her body was filled with guilt and she just gave up. But a large part of her wanted to share this with Lexa, who she surprisingly trusts immensely. Clarke hit send.

 

 **Lexa:** Do you mind showing me some? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

 

A smile was on Clarke’s face, as she gathered one of her old sketchbooks that she had left lying around somewhere in her bedroom, and flipped it one where it was one of her more better ones. It was only a drawing of a forest with the full moon reflecting on the water. Her fingers traced over the lines that she had drawn years ago and sniffed away the tears that were threatening to fall. She quickly took the photo and sent it to Lexa.

 

“You must really like her if you sending her pictures of your drawings,” Raven said softly from where she stood in the doorway.

 

Clarke wiped away her eyes as she tossed the sketchbook to the floor. “She just wanted to see them. It’s no big deal.”

 

Raven eye’s softened as she sat down gently beside Clarke. She wrapped one of her arms around Clarke’s shoulder. “Clarke we’ve been friends for years. I’ve seen you at your worst and I’ve seen you at your best. So trust me when I say this Clarke when you’re around Lexa or just talking about Lexa I’ve never seen you this happy or content.”

 

Clarke knew that Raven’s words were supposed to be comforting but instead, it just felt as if they were suffocating her. She nodded, the words stuck in her throat as her phone vibrated.

 

 **Lexa:** Wow! OMG Clarke that’s amazing!

 

 **Clarke:** You’re just saying that.

 

 **Lexa:** I’m being completely honest with you. The drawing is amazing Clarke. You are a talented drawer.

 

Clarke was certain that her heart skipped some beats as she read Lexa’s text. She no longer felt Raven’s presence beside her; all of her attention was purely on her phone. There had been times this week where she regretted starting this fake relationship with Lexa but then she watches a small smile tug at the corner of Lexa’s lips and the way her bright green eyes light up and Clarke knows that she couldn’t imagine doing anything different.

 

 **Clarke:** I don’t draw as often as I use to, so I’m probably not good anymore.

 

 **Lexa:** Why not?

 

 **Clarke:** I don’t really feel the joy of drawing anymore, not like I use to.

 

“What film do you want to watch? Grease or Star Wars?” Raven asked, diverting Clarke’s attention away from her phone. She texted a quick goodbye to Lexa before moving her phone away from her sight. This weekend was about her spending time with Raven, without the interruption of boyfriends or girlfriends.

 

“Grease,” Clarke asked getting herself comfortable on the bed. Raven quickly set up the DVD before sitting down next to Clarke. They had sat in silence for half of the film, only softly singing the songs every now and again.

 

“Clarke?” Raven said softly, and Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Raven had sounded so vulnerable, which was something that she had never heard Raven be and she was immediately worried.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Is it worth staying with someone just because you're used to them?” Raven stared intently at her lap as she fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

 

“If you’re not happy then of you shouldn’t. Has something happened between with you and Finn?”

 

Raven eyes became misty as she ignored Clarke’s question. Clarke sighed as she turned her attention to the film. She’s known Raven long enough to know that Raven will only talk when she wants to, and nothing will change that. Yet the longer Clarke sat there, the desperation to reveal the truth and the guilt that she had been feeling for months had finally joined forces and Clarke didn’t know how long she would be able to keep anything a secret from Raven anymore.

 

* * *

 

It was early Sunday morning when Clarke’s phone buzzed relentlessly. Clarke groaned heavily as she burrowed herself further in her covers. Yet the buzzing wouldn’t stop. It only seemed to get more annoying as the seconds passed. Her eyes blinked over as she desperately searched for her phone. Raven mumbled from where she was still lying there asleep.

 

She squinted by the harsh light that emitted from her phone as Clarke attempted to read the text.

 

 **Lexa:** Fancy going for a coffee?

 

It was half eight in the morning on a Sunday, far too early for Clarke’s brain to properly function but she still couldn’t help but smile. She collapsed back on her bed as she typed out a message to Lexa.

 

 **Clarke:** You do realize the time right?

 

 **Lexa:** Yes. I’m sorry if I woke you up. How about I buy you a coffee?

 

 **Clarke:** You can pick me up. Too tired to drive.

 

Lexa only sent her back a quick smiley face and Clarke thought that it was adorable. She dragged herself out of bed and threw on the comfiest clothes that she could find. Clarke got ready in complete silence, apart from Raven’s snores. That girl could sleep through a hurricane. There was no point in waking her up, Clarke quickly scribbled a note telling the girl where she was going and stuck it Raven’s forehead. She practically lives here anyways, so it wasn’t a big deal with Raven being left here on her own.

 

There was a soft knock on the door and Clarke trudged downstairs to go answer it. It didn’t seem to register in her head that it could have been Lexa till she opened the door and saw the brunette standing there, looking extremely beautiful in just a simple t-shirt with a plaid shirt wrapped around her waist. Clarke could feel her throat go dry as she stared at Lexa.

 

“Hey, Clarke,” Lexa said and Clarke could feel goose bumps on her upper arms with how soft Lexa had said her name. For a moment, Clarke had forgotten how to sleep.

 

“Hey, I hope you’re still buying me coffee?” Clarke said as she locked the door behind her, and walked towards Lexa’s car.

 

“Well, it’s the least I could do for waking you up,” Lexa said, a guilty expression on her face. “I was thinking afterward if you wanted to go to the mall with me? I have some things I need to get. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

Clarke nodded far too eagerly and she hoped Lexa wouldn’t notice. “I would love too.”

 

They were halfway there when Clarke had gotten bored with the silence and stared at Lexa’s face.

 

“Were you out jogging?” She asked.

 

“Yeah, I was out for a couple of hours. I didn’t want to go the gym seeing as I went yesterday.” Lexa said, not taking her eyes off of the road.

 

“Do you go alone?”

 

“Anya come’s with me. We’re both super competitive with each other, quite often that’s more bad than good.” Lexa asked, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

 

“How so?” Clarke asked her eyes softened as she stared at the girl.

 

“One time Anya dislocated her shoulder because she thought she could lift more than me. And she did until she toppled backward and landed on her shoulder.” Lexa laughed as she pulled into the mall parking lot near to the coffee shop. “After that, we were no longer allowed to lift together or play any sports together.”

 

“Why aren’t you allowed to play sports together?” Clarke asked, learning about Lexa’s life was intriguing and she loved the bright smile that lit up the whole of Lexa’s face when she talked.

 

“She broke my arm by tackling me when were playing football,” Lexa said shrugging like it was no big deal. Clarke hurried up to walk in step with Lexa and she had to fight the urge to grab a hold of Lexa’s hand. The past week Clarke had grown accustomed to holding Lexa’s hand and leaning in close to her.

 

“When was that?”

 

“We were eight. After that, I mainly focused on soccer.” Lexa opened the door for Clarke as they walked into the coffee shop. She breathed in the smell of coffee and sighed happily.

 

“How do you take it?” Lexa asked as she walked over to the counter.

 

“Just black please,” Clarke said before heading towards one of the booths near the back of the coffee shop. She sat down and faced Lexa. Quite often she found herself unable to tear her eyes from Lexa. As long as Lexa didn’t catch Clarke staring everything will be just fine.

 

Her eyes followed as Lexa walked back to their table a tray of drinks in her hand and a muffin. “A black coffee for you and a vanilla latte for me,” She handed Clarke her drink as she sat down opposite her. “I also got you a blueberry muffin as well because I know you haven’t had breakfast yet.”

 

“How did you know blueberry was my favorite?” Clarke asked and Lexa’s cheeks flushed bright red.

“You ordered it at the Diner so I just assumed,” Lexa said rubbing the back of her neck and Lexa could feel her heart flutter.

 

“Thank you,” Clarke said softly. “Next time, coffee is on me.”

 

Lexa took a sip of her drink as she shook her head. “I’m perfectly okay with paying for your coffee Clarke.”

 

“I know. I just would like to pay for yours as well.” Clarke raised her eyebrows behind her coffee cup as she took a large sip. “What do you need to get from the mall?”

 

“Aden wanted me to get him a game and I ordered something yesterday that I need to pick up,” Lexa asked and Clarke started tearing chunks off of the muffin and popping it into her mouth.

 

“Are you going to tell me what?” Clarke asked, and Lexa smirked slightly.

 

“Nope.” Clarke rolled her eyes but decided to drop the conversation. “I want your opinion on something. How would you feel if I tried out for the girl's soccer team?”

 

Clarke’s mind went straight to the image of Lexa sprinting up and down the field, a focused expression on her face that she only get’s whilst intensely studying. She took a long sip from her coffee to give her time to rid that image from her head. “Why does it matter how I felt about it?”

 

“Because we’re in this relationship until graduation and I would hate to do something that you wouldn’t be comfortable with in any way,.” Lexa said.

 

“I don’t care if you want to join the soccer team, but Lexa you need to do stuff that makes you happy. Regardless of what I feel.” Clarke said reaching across the table to place her hand atop of Lexa’s.

 

She nodded. “You know as my girlfriend, you’d have to come to all my games.”

 

“That’s if you get on the team.” Clarke teased, and Lexa shook her head grinning.

 

“Oh trust me, I’ll be on that team.”

 

“Then I’ll be in the front row cheering you o,” Clarke said, and she could see the happiness brimming in Lexa’s green eyes. They finished their drinks, whilst making light conversation. Clarke found out that she liked making Lexa laugh, and that meant telling some stories about the embarrassing moments between her and Raven during middle school. She didn’t mind, though, hearing Lexa laugh was worth it.

 

They eventually left the coffee shop and walked towards the mall, this time their hands were entwined. They headed to the game stop first; Lexa didn’t take long in there, she found the game quickly and paid for it.

 

“It’s for Aden and Nym.” She explained before dragging Clarke towards the other side of the mall, stopping outside the Art shop. Clarke felt her heart stop.

 

“Lexa. What are we doing here?” Clarke asked, her hand tightening around Lexa’s.

 

“I’m just picking something up,” Lexa said, rubbing her thumb along the back of Clarke’s hand.

 

“I’m going to wait outside,” Clarke said, and Lexa nodded before quickly hurrying inside the shop. All Clarke could do was stand there and stare at the front of the store as she breathed in deeply. It had been months since Clarke had last been here. She had been successfully avoiding it and now that she was finally here it felt as if all of her suppressed emotions were hitting her at once.

 

Lexa finally exited the shop, holding a brown paper bag. She stopped in front of Clarke and the bag out. Clarke took it with trembling fingers and opened it. Inside was a leather bound sketchbook, with intricate patterns of leaves and branches engraved in the leather. Her breath got caught in her throat as she flicked through the black pages.

 

“You said yesterday that you no longer felt the joy of drawing. Something must have made that happen. I’m not pressuring you to tell me anything. I just wanted to give you something to use if you ever find that happiness and you want to draw again.” Lexa said softly, and Clarke stared at the girl her eyes getting teary as she threw her arms around Lexa’s neck. Her arms wrapped around Clarke’s waist and Clarke’s grip tightened as she allowed her body to relax into Lexa’s.

 

She felt safe in Lexa’s arms like everything was okay as long as she was holding her. Clarke never considered that she would be happy again after months of just being a shell of what she once was. But whenever she was around Lexa she felt alive and whole again and maybe Lexa was her new happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, sorry about the much longer wait than usual I was traveling through Europe for a week and had absolutely no time to update, but I'm here now and wanted to upload another chapter for you all. 
> 
> I know that my grammar isn't the best, but I am trying my hardest to make sure everything is as best as it can be. So I hope it isn't that bad. 
> 
> Just a little warning, towards the end of the chapter I do mention some aspects of depression, so feel free to skip if that makes you uncomfortable in anyway.

Lexa knew that everything about Clarke was beautiful. The way she smiled and how she subconsciously tucked her blonde curls behind her ear. How stubborn Clarke is when she is faced with something that she didn’t understand and how she is incredibly brave. The worst part of it all, though, was how Clarke didn’t even know it. Lexa desperately wanted to make Clarke understand how important and perfect Clarke was. That was why she got Clarke that sketchbook. To remind her of what she was capable of. Lexa just wanted Clarke to be happy. 

 

Anya still thought that her situation with Clarke would end in nothing but heartbreak for the both of them. Lexa accepted that, if her heart is to be broken by Clarke then so be it. She was sure though that Clarke would never do that to her. Lexa trusted her. 

 

Lexa looked across the field to where Clarke was sitting with Anya and Aden watching the tryouts. It was an odd sensation having the three people that she cared most for, here supporting her. Lexa tried to keep the smile off her face and tried to replace it with her game face. She wanted to get on that team. Octavia jogged over to where Lexa was standing a little away from the rest of the group, a small smile on her face.

 

“You ready for this?” Octavia said as she stretched. Lexa looked over at her and nodded. 

 

“I’m getting a place on that team. We both are.” Lexa said, her eyes straying over to Clarke. An action that didn’t go unnoticed by Clarke. 

 

“You know, Clarke really likes athletic people.” Octavia grinned and Lexa could feel her cheeks going red. 

 

“I don’t know what you mean.” She mumbled, but Lexa couldn’t shake that thought from her mind. “Clarke and I are just friends.” The words felt fake and she swallowed heavily. 

 

“Right,” Octavia said, but Lexa could tell by her tone that she didn’t believe her. “I’ve heard that before.” Lexa didn’t have time to question what Octavia meant by that as the Coach blew her whistle. She would just have to ask her about it later. 

 

An hour and a half later, an exhausted Lexa trudged off the field with Octavia and the other girls that also tried out. The Coach Indra was tough and demanding, not once allowing them to have a break or a moment to rest. Lexa proved her worth to the Coach and she was confident that she would be given a place. Octavia also played surprisingly well, and Lexa’s knew that they would be an unstoppable force on the field.

 

Lexa could only manage a small smile when Clarke walked towards her, but it seemed more like a grimace. Clarke wrapped an arm around Lexa’s waist pulling her in close, and Lexa wasn’t complaining. “You alright babe?” Clarke said with a soothing tone, Lexa managed a tiny nod of her head as she burrowed her head in Clarke’s neck. Not really caring if she was overstepping any boundaries. 

 

“You were great out there Lexa!” Aden said bounding over to them with Anya behind him. “Celebratory dinner at our house!” 

 

“She might not have even gotten onto the team yet nerd,” Anya said. Lexa rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder and watched as Aden rolled his eyes. 

 

“It’s Lexa. Of course, she’s going to get a spot on the soccer team.” The two started arguing about something and Lexa decided to turn all of her attention on Clarke. 

 

“Thank you for being here today,” Lexa mumbled. 

 

“I wouldn’t have missed it. You were amazing out there.” Clarke said softly and Lexa’s body filled with warmth. 

 

“I just really like soccer,” Lexa said shrugging like it was no big deal. Both girls knew that it was. 

 

"Guess I'll have to start getting used to my girlfriend being the star of the soccer team," Clarke exclaimed, grinning widely and Lexa's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Why was Clarke referring to her as her girlfriend when everyone here knew about how their relationship was nothing but fake. Then she saw the broad grin on Aden's face as he stared at the two of them, his eyes lit up like stars. Lexa pushed down the guilt that threatened to choke her about keeping this a secret from her little cousin. 

 

She ignored that and brought all her attention back to Clarke. "I won't be the star," Lexa said, her cheeks heating up when Clarke lightly pressed her lips to it. 

 

"I think you're getting delirious by how tired you are." Clarke pulled her closer to her. "You need to get to bed." 

 

"Aren't you coming to dinner Clarke?" Aden asked, and Clarke looked over at Lexa. 

 

"Are you alright with that?" She asked her, and Lexa nodded. She couldn't imagine letting go of Clarke anytime soon. She was so soft and warm and Lexa was so goddamn comfy. "Are you sure your Dad doesn't mind?"

 

"Don't worry about it blondie, Dad has been trying to get you to dinner so he can meet you since he found out about you and Lexa dating," Anya smirked, before picking up Lexa's bag and throwing it over her shoulder. "I'm sure you're okay with carrying Lexa to her car. It looks like she's not going to let go of you anytime soon."

 

Anya turned on her heel marching over to Lexa's car, expecting the other's to follow her. "Don't worry, Dad is nothing like Anya. He's a big old softie." Aden said following his sister, with Clarke shuffling next to him still holding the majority of Lexa’s weight. If Lexa wasn’t so tired then she would have felt slightly guilty about putting Clarke through all this. 

 

“Dad already likes you. He said, anyone who can put a smile on Lexa’s face like the one she wears when she thinks nobody’s looking, is good enough for me.” Aden carried on talking. Lexa’s cheeks turned bright red and she tried to burrow her face in Clarke’s neck. Clarke’s grip tightened ever so slightly on Lexa’s waist. 

 

“Is that so?” Clarke asked, and Lexa could tell by the tone of the blonde’s voice, that she had a teasing smile on her face. One that Lexa adored seeing. 

 

Aden nodded eagerly. “Oh yeah definitely! I hope you like pasta, Dad makes a lot!” They all climbed into Lexa’s car, and Anya didn’t hesitate to drive off. Lexa leaned heavily on Clarke in the back seat and closed her eyes, feeling herself drifting off to sleep. She felt Clarke press her lips to the top of Lexa’s head, and whisper into her ear. 

 

“I don’t mind if you drift off to sleep on me. I’d wake you when we get to your house.” Clarke whispered so that the others couldn’t hear here. Lexa hummed in response. Clarke’s rubbed comforting circles on Lexa’s waist and Lexa could no longer fight the battle of trying to fight off sleep, and she drifted off.

 

“Wake her up!” 

 

“Can’t she just stay like that?” 

 

“Either you wake her up or I do.” 

 

“Ugh fine.” 

 

A hand gripped Lexa’s arm and gently shook her. She groaned in her still half asleep daze, and the hand stilled momentarily. 

 

“Lexa, come on you got to wake up.” Lexa felt Clarke’s hot breath on her ear, and she had to repress a shudder. Lexa could hear Clarke softly sigh before there was a gentle pressure applied to her lips and she couldn’t help but immediately kiss back.

 

Her eye’s fluttered open and she stared into Clarke’s eyes. Even though Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes many times before, she was always startled by how blue her eyes were. They looked like the ocean, deep and calming, Lexa could get lost in them for hours. 

 

“Hey,” She whispered, and she swore she could feel Clarke’s eyes quickly glance down to Lexa’s lips. 

 

“Hey,” Clarke whispered back, “We’re at your house.” Neither of them mentioned the small kiss that the two shared, just like they never talk about any of the kisses that they share. It was just easier that way. 

“Did Uncle Gus make pasta?” Lexa mumbled still half asleep. 

 

“Yep,” Clarke said, taking one of Lexa’s hands and helps her out of the car. Lexa didn’t remove her hand from Clarke’s as they walked towards the front door. Inside she could hear Aden’s voice chatted away to Uncle Gus excitedly as he recalled every little detail of Lexa’s tryouts. 

 

As soon as the two had walked through the door, the chatting had stopped and Uncle Gus rounded the corner, a soft smile on his face. “Lexa, even though I heard all about already how do you feel it went?” 

 

“I think it went great. Coach Indra is brutal but I think I did enough to prove my worth.” Lexa said and Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand, a proud smile on her face. 

 

“That’s great kiddo,” Uncle Gus wiped his hands on a towel and took a couple of steps towards them. “And this must be Clarke?” He held out his hand for Clarke to shake. 

 

She grabbed onto his hand and shook it, “And you must be Uncle Gus. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

 

“Unfortunately I haven’t heard much about you,” Uncle Gus said, raising his eyebrows in Lexa’s direction. 

 

“Let’s hope to rectify that.” Clarke’s arm dropped down to her side, a charming smile on her face and Lexa couldn’t tear her eyes away from her. 

 

“Well, I hope you're hungry. I always make a bit too much.” Uncle Gus said leading them into the kitchen. Lexa hung back a little, tugging at Clarke’s hand to wait. She turned around a confused look on her face. 

 

“You ready for this?” Lexa asked she was incredibly nervous about actually trying to prove that their relationship was real to her Uncle. Clarke could sense that her nerves were getting the better of her, and gripped onto her shoulders. 

 

“Lexa, I need you to breath in and out and don’t be nervous. We’ve got this.” Clarke’s words were comforting, and the look in her eyes had complete faith in the two of them. It was about time that Lexa really started to believe in how convincing they could be. 

 

“After you then,” Lexa said, grinning. Clarke squeezed her hand before releasing it and walking into the kitchen. Lexa stood there for a moment, staring at the back of Clarke, biting her bottom lip. Clarke really was beautiful. 

 

They sat in their usual seats during dinner; the only difference was that Clarke was sitting opposite Lexa and she really had to try staring at her. 

 

“So Clarke, Lexa is your tutor? How many classes are you failing?” Uncle Gus and Lexa’s eyes narrowed at her Uncle. She wasn’t really expecting her Uncle to lead with that. She was about to protest until her eyes glanced over to Clarke and she saw that stubborn look on her face with a defiant look in her eyes, and how her back had straightened; that the protest died on Lexa’s lips. 

 

“Yes, I am,” Clarke said. “I’m not failing art, though.” 

 

“And is there a reason why?”

 

“Eight months ago, I no longer saw the point in actually going to these classes that I couldn’t stand. So I just stopped trying.” Clarke said, and Lexa could see a flash of pain in her eyes as she spoke, and it took everything in her not to get up and hold her. 

 

“So one morning you just woke up and decided to give up?”

 

“Actually it was more in the middle of the night when I woke up to my Mom crying and the cops at my door when I decided to give up,” Clarke said. The table went deadly quiet, as everyone stared at Clarke. As if noticing their eyes on her, Clarke ducked her head suddenly aware that she had shared so much. 

 

“May I ask what happened?” Uncle Gus’ voice was now soft and his eyes gentle, as he stared at Clarke. Right now she seemed so vulnerable and scared that Lexa wanted to protect her from the horrors of the world. 

 

“It was a truck, that just came out of nowhere and hit him. He was walking back from the twenty-four-hour store when it just happened. He died on impact-” Clarke choked on her words and she took a sip of her water. None of them had to ask who  _he_ was, no one dared to ask. Lexa was smart enough to piece it all together, why Clarke never mentioned her Dad and how she avoided that conversation at all. 

 

“My Dad wanted me to do stuff that I enjoyed, and I no longer felt enjoyment in school,” Clarke said and the silence was suddenly heavy in the room. Clarke’s shoulders began to shake slightly and Lexa knew that they couldn’t stay in this table any longer. 

 

“Is it alright if Clarke and I are excused?” Lexa said. Uncle Gus nodded and Lexa quickly stood up and hurried around the table. She took a hold of Clarke’s hand and led her away from the table and up the stairs towards Lexa’s room. She didn’t say anything until the door was shut softly behind them. 

 

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked softly, and Clarke nodded not lifting her eyes from the floor. Lexa gently lifted Clarke’s chin, so she could look into the girl's eyes. There were tears in Clarke’s eyes and Lexa wanted nothing more than to make them go away. 

 

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” Lexa’s voice was barely above a whisper. Clarke flung her arms around Lexa and hid her face in Lexa’s neck. Lexa just held onto Clarke, not saying a word until Clarke was calm enough. She rubbed comforting circles on Clarke’s back, as the shaking soon came to stop. 

 

“You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to,” Lexa said, as she guided Clarke to her bed. Clarke lay down, pulling Lexa down to lie beside her. 

 

“I want to,” Clarke said softly. “I should have told you this sooner.” 

 

“No, you didn’t. Clarke, you can tell me anything in your own time, I’m never going to pressure you,” Lexa reached over to grab Clarke’s hand, and entwined her fingers. She wanted to remind Clarke that she was there for her. 

 

“That night I didn’t just lose my Dad, my Mom was heartbroken and just threw herself into work to distract herself. She worked longer and just stopped coming home, and I just stopped having the motivation to do anything,” Clarke said, tears falling down her cheeks. Lexa wiped away the tears and shuffled closer to her. 

 

“You know in that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy is singing going through the motions?” Lexa nodded, “It felt a lot like that, I was just doing what people wanted me to do. Go to class, smile and pretend that my whole world hadn’t just fallen apart. Eventually, I stopped caring, getting out of bed was harder, and I didn’t see the point in going to classes. It had all just become trivial.” Clarke took a deep breath and shut her eyes tightly. Lexa would do anything to take away her sadness, all Lexa could do was hold her and hope that it was enough for Clarke. 

 

“I took comfort in one night stands, and I didn’t care what people thought about me until I had gathered a reputation,” Clarke rested her forehead against Lexa’s and breathed deeply. “It feels weird saying all this out loud.” 

 

“I think you’re incredibly brave for saying all of this,” Lexa tucked Clarke’s hair behind her ear and pressed her lips against Clarke’s forehead. Clarke was brave, braver than most and Lexa thought she was incredible. 

 

“I don’t feel brave,” Clarke whispered, and Lexa’s heart squeezed painfully by how small Clarke sounded. “I feel as if I’m letting everybody down.”

 

“What you went through was something that would break most people, but you Clarke are strong. I see it in the way you walk down the corridor during school, how you stared at my Uncle with defiance in your eyes. I think you should be proud of what you’re doing because you’re an inspiration Clarke,” Lexa said, resting her hand gently on Clarke’s cheek. She watched as the tears gathered in Clarke’s eyes. “Did I say something wrong?” 

 

“No, you didn’t I-“ Clarke hesitated slightly. “Can you just hold me?” 

 

“Of course.” Lexa would always be there Clarke, even if it might break her heart.

 

Clarke turned round so that her back was facing Lexa, who shuffled closer and wrapped an arm around Clarke’s waist. Clarke entwined her hand with Lexa’s. Her heart was beating widely in her chest and held she held Clarke closer. She would do anything to make sure that Clarke never felt that pain again. Clarke didn’t deserve to be put through that, she was far too good for that.


	6. Chapter 6

Raven liked to think she was intelligent. Well, she was intelligent. She could build practically anything out of metal, and she did have a certain knack for chemistry and maths; and she liked to think that she could read people, even though that could definitely use some work. But Raven knew Clarke Griffin, and she knew that Clarke was hiding something from her. Raven had some suspicion on what it could be. 

 

Her leg bounced up and down, as she stared anxiously at the coffee shop entrance. Raven hated waiting as much as she hated coffee shops. If Raven was correct, and she usually was, Anya would be showing up to grab her morning coffee any minute now. Faster she talks to Anya, faster Raven can get the hell out of here. 

 

Anya didn’t disappoint. The other girl pushed through the door and Raven didn’t hesitate to jump up from her chair and rush over to Anya’s side. 

 

“Hey there Cheekbones,” Raven said, grinning when Anya rolled her eyes. 

 

“What are you doing here? You hate coffee and early mornings.” Anya raised one eyebrow at Raven before she turning to the barista and ordered her coffee. 

 

“I’m actually here to talk to you,” Raven said. “I think something is going on with Clarke and Lexa.” 

 

Raven stared at Anya waiting for her to give anything away, but Anya’s face was guarded and Raven could get nothing from it. “Other then the two of them being in a relationship?”

 

“That’s the thing I don’t think they’re in one,” Raven’s grin threatened to split her face when she saw something flash in Anya’s eyes. “I think they’re faking it.” 

 

“Why on earth would they do that?” Anya asked, grabbing her to-go cup and took a sip from it. 

 

Raven shrugged, “No idea, but I want to find out. So I have a plan and I need your help.”

 

“Why do you need my help?” 

 

“Well, for a double date to happen you kind of need four people,” Raven said, not missing how Anya’s cheeks had turned slightly red and her grip tightened on her cup. 

 

“I’m not being your date just so you can try and see if your theory on whether they’re dating or not is true.” Anya snapped, a scowl forming on her face. 

 

“I’ll pay for your food?” Raven asked in a last desperate attempt to get Anya to agree with her plan. Just like the majority of Raven’s idea’s they weren’t particularly thought out. All Raven needed was a distraction from everything else that was going on in her life. The perfect relationship that she had always pretended that she had with Finn was slowly crumbling, and Raven didn’t know whether she could piece it back together, or even if she wanted to fix it. Anya was always a good distraction at parties when Finn was off doing god knows what Raven could always count on Anya to distract her. 

 

Anya bit her lip before slowly nodding. “Fine. But only because you’re paying for everything.”

 

“Everything? I only said-“ Anya narrowed her eyes at Raven’s protest, and Raven gave in. “Alright, I’ll pay for everything. So I’ll make dinner plans tonight and I’ll text you.”

 

“Can’t wait,” Anya said, the sarcasm dripping from her voice. She exited the shop and Raven watched her walk away, a small smile on her lips. For all Raven knew was that there was nothing going on with Clarke and Lexa, that they were just in a loving relationship, and the butterflies that began to flutter in the pit of her stomach is actually something that Raven had eaten. Raven could be wrong. It didn’t happen often, but it still happened, but Raven was certain of one thing. Tonight will probably be one of the best nights she will have in a long while. 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke stared at Lexa, her eyes raking up and down Lexa’s figure and she could feel her mouth go dry. She was wearing her gym clothes, revealing her toned biceps and she could just about catch a glimpse of Lexa’s abs. Clarke wanted to feel the muscles that Lexa usually covered up. Kiss her way down Lexa’s chest and down her stomach and even further down. Clarke swallowed heavily and licked her dry lips. She really had to keep her thoughts under control. 

 

Lexa turned round to look at her, a smirk on her lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to go the gym with me?”  

 

Clarke rolled her eyes, not bothering to reply. Lexa already knew the answer to that. There was an uncomfortable throbbing between her legs, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss the other girl. Ever since Clarke had opened up to her, Clarke saw Lexa differently. 

 

Before she had always felt safe whenever she was near her, but now after being held by Lexa she felt protected, and safe and loved; something that she hadn’t felt since her Dad died. It was clear that Lexa was beautiful. You’d have to be an idiot to not see it, but Clarke hadn’t expected to fall in love with who Lexa was on the inside. 

 

 _Love._ Just the thought of that word had Clarke’s heart beating rapidly that she was certain it was rattling against her ribcage trying to break free. Clarke really hoped that no one had noticed these sudden feelings that developed for Lexa.  

 

“Are we still doing movie night when you get back?” Clarke asked as she leaned against the countertop, keeping her eyes trained on Lexa’s face. 

 

“Oh definitely. I’m picking the movie, you’re picking the food right?” 

 

“I swear to god Lexa, if it’s another documentary-“ Clarke warned, but didn’t get very far as Lexa quickly grinned at her and rushed out of the house. Clarke shook her head, a bemused smile on her face. “Seems like it’s going to be another documentary.” Clarke did find them sort of interesting, but she would never admit that to Lexa. She enjoyed the way Lexa would give her own commentary on whatever it is they were watching because she had already seen it a million times before. 

 

Pushing herself off the counter, Clarke wandered into the living room and plopped herself down on the couch. Lexa had been spending a lot of time at Clarke’s house keeping her company or they were at Lexa’s house where Clarke felt familiar with Aden and Anya; she was certain that Anya was warming up to her. Their house had begun to feel more like home than hers has done in the past year. 

 

Her phone buzzed from her pocket. As she went to check, Clarke paused at her wallpaper. It was a selfie that Clarke had practically forced Lexa to be in. It was during one of the study sessions, and Lexa had decided to ditch the library and study outside. Which is how they found themselves in that position when the photo was taken; Lexa leaning back on her hands, a relaxed smile on her face with Clarke sitting in between her legs, resting her body against Lexa’s. Clarke wanted to remember that moment for as along as possible, she could just imagine that pretending to be in a relationship with Lexa would be getting increasingly more difficult then it already is. 

 

 **Raven:** Double date at eight tonight?

 

Clarke’s eyes widened with panic as she read the word date. If Finn was there, she didn’t think she would be able to cope. 

 

 **Clarke:** Date?

 

 **Raven:** Yeah. You and your GF, and me with Anya. 

 

 **Clarke:** You and Anya are a thing now?

 

 **Raven:** No. Finn’s busy tonight and it would be awkward going out to dinner with just the three of us. 

 

Going out to dinner with Raven would be great, especially since it’s felt like months since they’ve done something like that. But this whole arrangement felt like some kind of test. 

 

 **Clarke:** Where?

 

 **Raven:** That new place where Murphy works. 

 

 **Clarke:** Jaha’s? Raven, that place is fancy!

 

 **Raven:**  A perfect reason for you to get dressed up and wow your girl!

 

Excitement bubbled in the pit of Clarke’s stomach. Raven was right, Jaha’s was a great reason to get dressed up, and she really did want Lexa to see her in a dress. Even though Lexa may not have the same feelings that Clarke has, but she knew that Lexa found her attractive. Clarke didn’t miss the way that Lexa glanced down at her chest whenever she thought Clarke wasn’t looking, or the way Lexa responded too eagerly whenever they kissed. 

 

Not that Clarke minded. But it was about time that Lexa was speechless when she stared at Clarke, seeing as she that happens to Clarke every time Lexa is in anything athletic. 

 

 **Clarke:** I’ll tell Lexa and we’ll meet you there

 

 **Raven:** Wear your red dress!

 

 **Clarke:** I haven’t decided which dress I want to wear yet

 

 **Raven:** RED!!

 

Clarke rolled her eyes and locked her phone. At the back of Clarke’s mind, something kept nagging at her that this double date is such a bad idea. But curiosity got the better of her, and she wanted to know how Lexa would react on a date. This may be the only chance that Clarke may ever have to go on a date with Lexa, and she did not want to waste it. 

 

She checked the time and noticed that she had another few hours till eight, and she wanted to give herself enough time to get ready. She quickly sent a message to Lexa telling her about the change in plans before heading upstairs and into her room. 

 

Clarke didn’t allow herself to think about the last time that she went to Jaha’s and more importantly who she was with during dinner. Instead, she focused on how this would be her first official date with Lexa, even if it was just technically between two friends. Deep, deep down, though, Clarke knew that she had never been friends with Lexa, not since that first kiss at that party all those weeks ago. 

 

It did hurt her however when Clarke realizes that this is all she would ever have with Lexa; Clarke wanted to cherish every kiss, every handhold, every smile until graduation when it would all be over. Clarke tried not to think about that. 

 

A car drove into the driveway, and Clarke peeked out of the window to see her Mom get out of the car. Her Mom hadn’t been home for a couple of days now, and it was odd seeing her here. The front door slammed shut and Clarke heard her name being called. 

 

She sighed deeply before replying. “Yeah, Mom?” 

 

Clarke heard her Mom walk up the stairs before poking her head through the door. “Hey, sweetie.” 

 

Clarke hated the way she called her that. “You’re back from work early.” 

 

“Yeah, thought I’d take a night off. Spend a night with just the two of us,” Her Mom shut the door before taking a seat on the bed, whilst Clarke hovered near the window; not ready to sit beside her. 

 

“I can’t I’m busy tonight,” Clarke said. 

 

“Cancel your plans,” Mom said a scowl appearing on her face. Clarke couldn’t think of anything worse than spending an evening in with her Mom, which would no doubt lead to them arguing about Clarke’s future and how she’s ruining her chances of becoming a doctor. 

 

“I can’t, I have dinner plans with Lexa,” 

 

“That girl? You know I don’t like you seeing that girl,” Her Mom stood up, folding her arms across her chest. This was the conversation that Clarke was dreading. Where her Mother would try and be parental and tell Clarke what to do when in reality it only made Clarke more distant. 

 

“I don’t care whether you like her or not. She’s my girlfriend, and I couldn’t give a fuck what you think because you’re never here!” Clarke seethed, and she watched as her Mother’s eyes darkened. 

 

“You are still my daughter! I will stop you from leaving this house!” 

 

“I’d like to see you try,” Clarke said, folding her arms as she stared at her Mom with a defiant look in her eyes. There was no chance in hell that her Mom would be stopping her from seeing Lexa tonight. She would sneak out if she had to. 

 

They stared at each other like that for a moment, not one of them daring to back down. Clarke liked to think that she got most of her personality from her Dad, but she knew she got her stubbornness from her Mother. Right now was a clear example of it. Eventually, her Mom backed down and exited Clarke’s room, slamming the door behind her. Clarke flinched at the sheer force of the slam, before collapsing on her bed. 

 

Blinking back the tears Clarke grabbed her phone and saw she had a missed call from Lexa. She didn’t hesitate to ring back. 

 

“What’s this about a double date?” Lexa immediately said when their lines connected. 

 

“Hey you,” Clarke said a small smile on her face. She sniffed back her tears and tried to focus on the sound of Lexa’s voice. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asked, concern lacing her voice. 

 

“There’s nothing wrong,” Clarke tried to convince her, but she knew it was useless. Lexa seemed to know more about her than Clarke did. 

 

“You just sound sad. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong with you?” Lexa asked again and Clarke didn’t see the point in hiding it from her. 

 

“Mom and I just got into a fight. She tried to stop me from going to dinner.” Clarke said softly. 

 

“Are you still coming to dinner tonight? I would understand if you’re not,” 

 

“No, I am. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Clarke said, trying to hide the enthusiasm from her voice. 

 

“Jaha’s a really fancy place, I don’t think I own anything suitable,” Clarke could hear the hint of panic that Lexa was trying to hide. “What are you wearing?” 

 

“Just a simple red dress. Lex, just wear whatever you want, no one will care,” Clarke said. 

 

“Everyone will care!”

 

“I won’t,” Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. The fact that Lexa had gotten so panicky over such a trivial issue such as not knowing what to wear was cute.

 

“I’ll wear something that matches red then,” Lexa said, “We are girlfriends remember.” 

 

Clarke had no idea how Lexa could do it. One minute Clarke was smiling like a goof because Lexa was being too adorable, and the next she was a stuttering mess because of something Lexa had said. She couldn’t keep up. 

 

“I’ll pick you up at half seven,” Lexa said before hanging up, and Clarke sat there motionless with her cheeks heating up. 

 

She had two hours until Lexa was here, and she had to make sure she looked good enough to make Lexa speechless. That was the end goal. With a satisfied smile, Clarke undressed and hopped into the shower. It seemed as if that Clarke had unintentionally started a little game with Lexa; a competition to see who could make the other more flustered, and Clarke was determined to win.


	7. Chapter 7

At half seven on the dot, Lexa knocked three times on Clarke door. She had arrived twenty minutes earlier, but had decided to stay in her car not wanting to seem too eager for her ‘date’ with Clarke. Lexa had to keep reminding herself that this date was fake or not, it seemed like Lexa was telling herself that a lot of things were fake lately. Anya had told her it was a test for Raven to see if their relationship was real or not, but Lexa wasn’t that bothered her and Clarke have managed to convince anyway. She would just have to treat this like a real date. Clarke deserved to be treated as if this was a real date. She double-checked to make sure the yellow tulips that she had gotten Clarke were still perfect and that her dress was still okay.

 

It was a black dress that she had shoved in the back of her closet. It flowed to her mid thigh and the bit near her chest was covered in lace. It was simple and classy. Perfect for a place such as Jaha’s. Yet it had taken her a good hour on deciding what to wear before Anya had stormed in and threw this dress at her without even saying a word. Aden who had been sitting among the chaos of clothes that had become of Lexa’s wardrobe, nodded with an excited grin on his face so Lexa decided to wear it. She was really trusting her cousins on this one.

 

She went over the plan once more in her head. First give Clarke the flowers and tell her how beautiful she looks. Second, she would tell her that she’s the one paying for dinner tonight and then she would tell Clarke that this is one of Raven’s tests. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, just as the door opened and Lexa had forgotten everything that she had just thought as her mouth dropped open.

 

Clarke stood in the doorway, a confident smirk on her face as her eyes travelled up and down Lexa’s body; she did notice that action, Clarke wasn’t being subtle about it. Clarke was absolutely stunning, in a red dress that stopped at her thigh and hugged all of her curves. Lexa tried not to stare but she couldn’t help it, Clarke was insanely beautiful. Her blonde hair was curled, and her blue eyes seemed even brighter than usual. Clarke’s lips were painted red to go along with her dress, and Lexa felt drawn to them. Her eyes travelled down Clarke’s face to the beginning of Clarke’s dress, and Lexa was certain that her eyes bugged out of her head at the sight of Clarke’s cleavage.

 

“Wow,” Was all Lexa was able to a say. “You look… Wow.”

 

Clarke smiled bashfully, as her cheeks heated up slightly. “You don’t look too bad yourself,”

 

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Lexa gushed. She didn’t think she would be unable to stop telling her good Clarke looked tonight. She was slightly tempted to not even bother going to the dinner and just stay here, in Clarke’s room and…

 

Lexa coughed that thought away as she practically shoved the flowers in Clarke’s hands. “I got you flowers!” She stuttered out.

 

The smile grew, “I’ll quickly put these in a vase. Just wait here.” Clarke quickly disappeared into her house, whilst Lexa hesitated in the doorway. She was true to her word and it was barely a minute before Clarke returned and took Lexa’s hand. “Ready to go?”

 

Lexa nodded, and lead Clarke to her car. Trying to remember everything else on her plan. She quickly opened the passenger door before Clarke had a chance too.

 

“What a lady,” Clarke said, quickly placing a kiss on Lexa’s cheek.

 

“I’m paying!” Lexa said suddenly.

 

Clarke’s lips curled up into a smirk, “We’ll see about that,” Clarke slid into the car and Lexa found it impossible to hide the goofy smile on her face.

 

The drive to Jaha’s was a lot harder then Lexa remembered. She really had to stop looking at Clarke, especially whilst driving. It was like she was a horny teenager, unable to stop staring at the pretty girl. This was beginning to feel a lot like a first date.

 

“Don’t you think it’s odd that Raven is here with Anya?” Lexa asked trying to make conversation.

 

“There has to be a reason why she’s done it. Have the two ever spent time with each other?” Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed with both confusion and concern.

 

“I think they only talk at parties,” Lexa said as she turned into the Jaha’s car park. “You ready for tonight?”

 

“I’m excited, I haven’t been to Jaha’s in forever,” Clarke said, and Lexa could tell that there was more to the story but she wouldn’t press the subject. Clarke would tell her in her own time.

 

“Last time I was here it was two years ago when my Mom was home,” Lexa said, smiling fondly at the memory. Some of her best memories were when her Mom took leave from the military and came home to Lexa. It made up for the amount of time they were separated.

 

Lexa got out of the car and went to open Clarke’s door. “Should I expect a lot of this tonight?”

 

“Oh definitely,” Lexa smirked holding out her arm for Clarke to take, and the two walked inside of the restaurant.

 

“A table under the name of Reyes?” Clarke said when she approached the host.

 

The host looked for a moment before smiling, “Ahh yes, the other two members of your party are already here.” The host smiled one last time before leading them to a table in a corner of the restaurant. Raven and Anya were already seated next to each other; the two were so immersed with each other that they didn’t even notice that Clarke and Lexa were approaching.

 

“Oh, I forgot to say,” Lexa whispered in Clarke’s ear. “Raven is using this dinner as an excuse to see if we’re in an actual relationship.”

 

“What?” Clarke hissed, before turning her head around to grin at Raven who called Clarke’s names. “Hey!”

 

“You two are late,” Raven wiggled her eyebrows at the pair. Lexa shook her head as she pulled out her chair for Clarke; she had become accustomed to Raven’s antics by now, that she just ignored them.

 

“It’s exactly eight,” Lexa sat down herself, smiling slightly at Anya. “You two are just early.”

 

“Anya’s fault,” Raven said grinning. “She likes getting to places ridiculously early,”

 

“So would Lexa if she got the chance,” Clarke teased, nudging Lexa’s shoulder. “So have you guys ordered yet?”

 

“We just ordered some drinks. Two sodas, and two iced waters,” Anya said, handing them both a menu. “If I was you two, I would order pretty quickly. Raven and I are getting hungry.” Anya flashed Raven a grin, and Lexa watched as Raven’s cheek turned slightly pink. Her eyebrows raised slightly in confusion. What was that about? Lexa shook her head, before turning her attention to Clarke, smiling softly to herself at how adorable Clarke looked while she studied the menu.

 

Lexa leaned over and whispered in Clarke’s ear, “You alright there Clarke?”

 

“I’m just deciding what to have,” Clarke whispered back as she glanced over at Lexa, and she suddenly aware of how close Clarke’s face was to her own. “It seems a lot more expensive then what I can remember.”

 

Lexa rested her hand on top of Clarke’s. “Clarke, don’t worry about it. Order whatever you want, I’m the one paying,”

 

“But-“

 

“No buts Clarke,” Lexa grinned, as Clarke looked slightly flustered. “Remember this is our date. It’s my treat,” Lexa so desperately wanted to kiss Clarke in that moment, and technically she could. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Raven watching the two of them, so she decided to go for it.

 

She gently placed her lips against Clarke’s and her eyes fluttered close. She had only intended for it to be a quick kiss. Just a light peck, but before Lexa had the chance to pull away Clarke began to kiss back and she felt her heart stop. One day she may get over how amazing of a kisser Clarke is, but today is not that day. Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s legs, and she felt fire surge through her body at Clarke’s touch. She wanted more of it.

 

A slight cough across the table reminded Lexa that they weren’t alone and she tore herself away from Clarke, suddenly fascinated with the menu. Anya’s eyebrows were raised as she stared at both her and Clarke and Lexa, and realization suddenly dawned on her face.

 

“Are you four ready to order?” A waitress came over, and Lexa looked at the nametag on the waitress’s shirt  _Niylah._ Lexa thought she was pretty but not beautiful. Not as beautiful as Clarke. This girl was probably perfectly nice, yet there was something about her that Lexa immediately dislikes; she just couldn’t put her finger on it.

 

Niylah neglecting the rest of the people at the table as she only stared at Clarke, a flirtatious smile on her face. Well, Lexa understands why she doesn’t like this girl anymore. Her jaw set as she stared at the waitress, her eyes challenging her. Lexa was certain that Niylah was going to try flirting with Clarke any moment now.

 

Anya, Raven, and Lexa had all ordered and Lexa was very close to go and ask for a new waitress. Lexa hated the way that she was looking at Clarke like she was a piece of meat.

 

“What about you?” Niylah said, her flirtatious smile growing and Lexa felt sick.

 

“I’ll just have a steak with a side of salad,” Clarke replied smiling back, and Lexa entwined her fingers with Clarke’s and rested them on the table, raising an eyebrow at Niylah. The waitress left with a huff and Clarke looked at her with a confused expression.

 

“What was that about?” Clarke asked and Lexa just smiled innocently.

 

“What was what?”

 

Clarke didn’t ask any more questions and instead, the conversation drifted to school and their classes. Lexa barely said anything, too entranced with the way Clarke was talking about her art classes, excitement evident in her voice. Lexa really did love hearing Clarke talk.

 

“So Christmas is coming pretty soon?” Raven said, bouncing in her seat. “What are you guys getting me?”

 

“Nothing if you keep bringing it up,” Anya said, a sly smile on her face as she poked Raven in the side. “Lexa, what you planning on doing for your birthday?”

 

She shrugged, “I haven’t really thought about it,”

 

“It’s in three weeks,” Anya said, raising her glass to her lips. “Better get thinking.” Anya took a long sip from her drink before turning her attention to Raven; both girls were completely lost in each other.

 

“Do you see something going on between them two?” Lexa whispered in Clarke’s ear, not missing the way she slightly shivered.

 

“I don’t think they realize it yet,” Clarke whispered, quickly glancing over to the pair. “I think they’re just oblivious to it.”

 

“Anya has feelings for Raven, though,” Lexa stared at Anya and she noticed that her cousin looked very content just hearing Raven talk. “She would follow her anywhere.” Her gaze made its way back to Clarke’s, and Lexa knew that she was the same. She would follow Clarke to ends of the earth if Clarke wanted her to.

 

Clarke didn’t answer but instead staring intently at Lexa. It was as if she could see the thoughts whirling around inside of Clarke’s head and just as she was about to say something, the waitress showed up.

 

“Here you go,” Niylah said, practically dropping Lexa’s plate on the table. She must be annoyed about the fact that she and Clarke are a couple, so her flirting would be completely one sided. Lexa had a smug smile on her face the entire time Niylah was there. She could feel Clarke’s gaze on the side of her face, but it just made the smile on Lexa’s face grow.

 

The food was great, but then again it always was at Jaha’s and Lexa was not disappointed. She had almost dropped her cutlery however when Clarke had moaned after taking her first bite of the steak. Lexa’s heart still hadn’t gotten back in control after hearing that. The amount of money she would be spending on this meal would be completely worth it.

 

“Do you guys want to have desert?” Raven asked after they had all finished eating.

 

“Lexa do you want to share a piece of chocolate cake?” Clarke asked, biting her lip slightly and Lexa thought she had lost the ability to speak.

 

“I would love that,” Her throat had suddenly become dry and she quickly took a sip from her water.

 

Across the table, Raven’s phone wouldn’t stop vibrating and everyone could see how uncomfortable it was making her. It was another couple of minutes of constant vibration before Raven excused herself from the table. Anya watched her go, biting the inside of her cheek.

 

“Is she okay?” Lexa asked concerned.

 

“Finn wouldn’t stop texting her,” Anya muttered before beginning to tear her napkin into smaller pieces.

 

A few minutes had passed and Raven had yet to return to the table. “I’m going to make sure she’s okay,” Clarke said before getting up from the table and following where Raven had disappeared too.

 

“When are you going to tell Clarke how you feel about her?” Anya said, and Lexa narrowed her eyes at her cousin.

 

“I don’t know what you mean,”

 

Anya scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Don’t act dumb with me cuz. I see the way you look at her; like she’s the one that hung up the moon just for you.”

 

“Just drop it, Anya. I know what I’m doing,” Lexa said, but she didn’t know whether she was convincing Anya or herself. “And I could say the same about you and Raven.”

 

“The difference is Raven is in a relationship,” Anya hissed, pointing a finger at Lexa, “But you are being an idiot, not telling Clarke how you feel. If you’re scared don’t be because it’s obvious that she likes you back.”

 

Lexa shook her head but didn’t say anything more. All the thoughts about her feelings for Clarke that she had desperately tried to hide over the past few weeks were now stuck in her head and Lexa didn’t know what to do. She had never been any good with dealing with her feelings in the past, and she had never felt such strong feelings for anybody before.

 

The rejection that Lexa might possibly face wasn’t even the scariest bit; it was the thought of losing Clarke. Clarke was her best friend; she shared a connection with the girl that she had never shared with anybody else in her life and she had grown accustomed to having Clarke in her life. To have that change, Lexa doesn’t think she’d be able to cope. She would just have to settle for just being friends with Clarke.

 

But then she catches Clarke’s gaze as she comes back into view with Raven behind her, and Lexa had always been uncertain of love up until this moment. Clarke was beautiful, but then Lexa always found Clarke beautiful even more so when it’s just the two of them alone and Clarke is just relaxed. Lexa loved the way Clarke bit her bottom lip when she tried not to laugh and how her eyes were always the give away that she was. She loved the way Clarke refused to give up even when it seemed life had knocked her down so many times; and she loved the way in which she seemed so unsure of herself whenever she showed Lexa a piece of her artwork. Lexa just loved Clarke.

 

Lexa watched as the smiled widened on Clarke’s face when she saw Lexa and how her eye’s lit up.  _Screw it,_ Lexa couldn’t help but think, she would hate herself forever if she didn’t even try.

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you think she was jealous?” Clarke asked as she and Octavia walked into Octavia’s house. She still couldn’t get over the other night at Jaha’s. The way Lexa had looked in that dress, Clarke was sure that she wouldn’t be able to control herself during the night, but she did and she still doesn’t understand how she managed to achieve it.

 

Lexa had been perfect that entire night, and Clarke managed to lose herself in the evening. She had forgotten that it was they were just pretending and it was an act that they had to put on in front of Raven; Clarke just got into the mindset that she and Lexa were just on a date.

 

“I think she was jealous,” Clarke answered herself when Octavia didn’t. She had been doing that a lot lately. All she had been doing this was analyzing the date over and over again in her head just to make sure that Lexa had actual feelings for her before doing anything stupid, like declaring her feelings for a certain brunette.

 

“Then why don’t you do something about it?” Octavia asked, her tone dry. Clarke had been talking about nothing but Lexa and their date and how amazing Lexa was during her soccer game, and she could tell that Octavia was getting slightly sick of it all. “Instead of talking to me about it?”

 

“Because whenever I see her, I just want to kiss her,” Clarke said, sighing happily. “Especially after she’s just done something active.”

 

“God! Your feelings for her are disgusting,” Octavia said pulling a face, but Clarke could tell that her friend was happy for her. “Why haven’t you told her yet?”

 

“I will,” Clarke’s nerves increased and she fidgeted with her hands as she leaned against the kitchen door, watching as Octavia threw her soccer bag onto the table and practically dove into the fridge. “When I know for definite that Lexa likes me.”

 

She could hear Octavia groan and she rolled her eyes. “You know you played well earlier,” Clarke said. Octavia shut the fridge and raised her eyebrows.

 

“Really? Because I just thought you had focused on Lexa the entire game,” Octavia snapped, and Clarke felt slightly guilty. Ever since her feelings for Lexa had grown past the friend phase she had been kind of neglecting Octavia. She really was a terrible friend.

 

She swallowed past the guilt before answering, “I was watching you as well. Octavia, I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend recently.”

 

“It’s fine,” Octavia waved her hand dismissively, but Clarke shook her head. She had no idea whether her friendship with Raven would ever be the same after she finally told her that she had slept with Finn. She couldn’t lose Octavia too.

 

“No it’s not, I was your friend long before Lexa showed up,” Clarke said, and a hint of a smile appeared on Octavia’s face.

 

“One day I’m going to meet a guy who I’m crazy about I’m going to tell you everything,” Octavia hopped up on the counter grinning. “And you’re going to have to deal with it.”

 

“I can’t wait,” Clarke said, relaxing when she knew that Octavia would be in her life for a very long time.

 

“But that hasn’t happened yet, and I would be a terrible friend if I didn’t allow you to tell me everything about your girlfriend,” Octavia teased. Clarke’s body filled with warmth when she said the word ‘girlfriend’ and she wanted it to be real. “And how you’re going to make her your actual girlfriend.”

 

“I just want to make sure she actually likes me,” Clarke said softly. She was like ninety percent certain that Lexa liked her, but she was so terrified of that ten percent of doubt. She had never liked anybody this strongly before, nor has she ever had anybody actually like her. Clarke has had people want to sleep with her, but that wasn’t what Clarke wanted anymore. She wanted somebody to love her. More specifically she wanted Lexa to love her.

 

“Octavia? Are you home?” A voice yelled from the front door, before the sound of it slamming echoed throughout the small house.

 

“Yeah!” Octavia yelled back and Bellamy appeared behind Clarke, a large grin on his face.

 

“It’s been a while since you’ve been here Clarke,” Bellamy said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a quick hug before releasing her. “What have you been up to?”

 

“She likes a girl!” Octavia spoke before Clarke had a chance to say anything. “But she’s too nervous to say that she likes her,”

 

“Who is it?” He asked as he went to lean on the counter next to his sister. Sometimes Clarke really hated how nosey these two could get when given a piece of gossip.

 

“Lexa Woods,” Octavia said, and Clarke threw her hands up. She may as well not even be here right now.

 

“Wait I thought you would already dating her?” Bellamy’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

 

“We’re pretending to date,” Clarke said, giving him the short version of the story. Bellamy’s eyes lit up, in the same way that Octavia would do when she came up with a ridiculous plan with the indication of dragging Clarke into it.

 

“And you developed feelings for her?” Bellamy asked and Clarke just nodded, “And you’re not sure whether she likes you back?”

 

“I’m like ninety percent certain,” Clarke answered and he nodded.

 

“I have a great idea,” Bellamy said and Clarke could tell it wasn’t’ going to be a great idea. “Throw a party, tonight.”

 

“What?”

 

“Well you’re Mom’s working, so why don’t you throw a celebratory party,” Bellamy grinned and Clarke had to admit that did sound like a good idea. “I can buy the alcohol!”

 

“How does that prove Lexa’s feelings for me?”

 

“It’s a party. With dancing and drinking. You can use that as a pretty good excuse to get up close to her,” Bellamy wriggled his eyebrows at her.

 

Clarke bit her lips as she thought about it. It would be like their dinner date all over again, except this time it would be in her territory. Clarke was known for being a party girl, and if she knew Lexa and she was certain she did, then Lexa wouldn’t take her eyes from her the entire night.

 

“What do you think?” Clarke asked Octavia, and she nodded eagerly. “Text all the rest of your team.”

 

Clarke pulled out her phone and sent a text to Lexa.

 

 **Clarke:** I’m throwing a party tonight to celebrate your win!! Are you coming tonight?

 

Clarke was certain that Lexa wasn’t going to say no.

 

* * *

 

The party was in full swing by eight, and Clarke was already three drinks in and already working on her fourth when she finally found Lexa. She was leaning against the living room wall, her bright green eyes surveying the crowd as she searched for Clarke. A wide grin appeared on Clarke’s face when she noticed and stumbled over to Lexa’s side. She didn’t think she was that drunk.

 

“Babe!” Clarke cried when she got close enough and threw her arms around Lexa’s neck, making them both stumble slightly.

 

Lexa grabbed onto Clarke’s waist, steadying the two of them. “Hey Clarke,” Lexa said smiling happily. “Sorry I’m late, Uncle Gus wanted me to have dinner before we left,”

 

Clarke wasn’t really listening to Lexa right now; instead, she was planting kisses all over Lexa’s cheeks. “Are you drunk Clarke?”

 

Clarke leaned back slightly and looked at Lexa’s face, maybe she was a little drunk. “Only a little.” Lexa’s eyes had lit up in amusement and her lips curled up into a smirk. “Lexa, babe. I need you to do something super duper important for me.”

 

“What is it?” Lexa whispered and Clarke was momentarily distracted by how badly she wanted to kiss her.

 

“Don’t let me say anything bad to Raven, especially not the truth,” She trusted Lexa to this to herself and keep her safe. “Do you promise me?”

 

Lexa nodded, “I promise,”

 

“Then seal it with a kiss,” She grinned cheekily. Lexa rolled her eyes, before quickly kissing her. Clarke wished the kiss was longer, and she was very tempted to go in and kiss Lexa again. Instead, she took a step back and tugged at Lexa’s hands. “Dance with me?”

 

“I don’t really dance,” Lexa admitted.

 

“Please,” Clarke pouted. Lexa sighed before nodding her head. Clarke grinned, dragging Lexa to the dance fall, which was really just her living with all her furniture pushed to the sides to make room.

 

She entwined their fingers and made them sway back and forth slightly to get Lexa use to the rhythm. Yet Clarke had always been a flirty and a forward drunk; so it didn’t take long for Clarke to press her back against Lexa’s front, swaying both of their hips as she tangled a hand in Lexa’s hair.

 

Lexa’s hand spread across Clarke’s stomach, pulling her impossibly closer and Clarke could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She felt Lexa’s hot breath on ear as she whispered, “You’re a great dancer,”

 

“I know,” Clarke smirked. “You’re not doing too bad yourself.”

 

“You know this is the second party I’ve been to,” Lexa whispered, and Clarke felt as if her body was on fire with how close she and Lexa were.

 

“And you still haven’t had a drink?”

 

“I might do, but I’m perfectly happy here.” Maybe that was the other ten percent that Clarke needed. She took a deep calming breath, before turning around to face Lexa and wrapped her arms around her neck. Any nerves that sober Clarke would definitely be feeling were gone.

 

“I like you,” Clarke said. Lexa’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Like really, really like you.”

Before Lexa had a chance to respond, Anya appeared out of nowhere and grabbed onto Lexa’s arm. “I need to borrow you for ten minutes,” Anya pleaded. Lexa looked at Clarke then back to Anya. Reluctantly, Clarke removed her arms from Lexa’s neck and took a step back.

 

“Ten minutes.” Clarke grinned, and Lexa nodded as Anya dragged her off into the crowd. Sighing heavily, Clarke downed the rest of her drink before wandering to the kitchen to grab herself another. She had given in to her urge to drink tonight, seeing as she couldn’t give into any of her other urges.

 

She was halfway through making herself a drink when she felt someone slide up next to her. She turned around expecting Lexa to be there but scowled when she realized that it was Finn. She had been successfully avoiding him for weeks now, and it was only a matter of time until they finally bumped into each other.

 

Clarke squinted her eyes to get a good look at him. His hair flopped in front of his eyes, and when he pushed it back she could see how red his eyes were. “You and I need to talk?” He slurred, tightly gripping onto Clarke’s wrist and roughly pulled her outside and away from anybody else in the party.

 

“Finn, stop.” Clarke protested but it was weak. The alcohol had really started to affect how slow her movements were right now. This was not a good situation to be in right now.

 

He pushed her against the wall and pinned her there whilst he got closer to her face. Clarke could smell the alcohol on his breath and she had begun to panic. “Did you know Raven had broken up with me?” He snapped and Clarke desperately wanted to flinch away, but she did not want to seem weak like that.

 

“I didn’t-“ She tried to say but he interrupted her before she had the chance to say anything else.

 

“It’s your fault that it happened! Did you tell her about us?” He growled and Clarke could feel her face harden.

 

“There isn’t an us,” Clarke hissed, “And there will never be an us!”

 

“Shut up bitch!” Finn yelled, “You don’t get to talk to me, not after you’ve opened your whore mouth one too many times. You convinced Raven to dump me! You decided to tell her she deserved better! Nobody but me is going to love her, and you’re the reason why she’s never going to have anybody love her again,” He jabbed a finger in her chest and got closer to her face. “Nobody’s going to love a whore like you either, you’ll open your legs for anybody who gives you a shred of sympathy. That’s all you will ever be good for!”

 

Clarke could feel tears well up in her eyes. Everything Finn was saying to her was all of her insecurities, which had been stirring inside of Clarke’s head ever since the death of her Dad. To have it all said out loud was like a painful kick to the stomach, one that Clarke knew she would not recover from soon.

 

“Fuck you,” Clarke hissed. Finn just laughed and it felt like ice down her spine, cold and cruel. He reached up and grabbed a handful of Clarke’s hair and shoved her head back.

 

Suddenly Finn was wretched from away from her and thrown to the floor. Lexa protectively stood in front of Clarke, her hands clenched so tightly that they shook. Finn stood up and glared at Lexa. Clarke watched anxiously from the wall. She wanted to help, but it felt like she couldn’t move.

 

Finn lunged towards her and Clarke held her breath, but Lexa moved to the side gracefully. Finn spun on his heel to face and she didn’t hesitate to punch him in the face. He fell to the floor, blood pouring from his nose.

 

When he tried to get back to his feet, Lexa punched him again and again and again. “You don’t ever touch Clarke again! You don’t ever talk to her again!” Lexa snarled as she held Finn by his collar then threw him back to the ground. It was barely a second later when Clarke felt soft hands on her cheek and lips on her forehead.

 

“You’re okay,” Lexa said softly. “You’re okay,” Clarke nodded and burrowed her face in Lexa’s neck. She didn’t notice Finn run off, all she cared about was that Lexa had shown up to protect her and to keep her safe and that was what mattered.

 

Eventually, Lexa slowly led Clarke back into the house and into the kitchen where Anya was waiting, a concerned look on her face. Lexa didn’t let go of her the entire time and Anya nodded.

 

“Everybody get the fuck out!” Anya yelled and went ahead kicking everybody out of Clarke’s house.

 

“Lexa, you’re not going to leave me right?” Clarke hated how small her voice sounded right now.

 

Lexa pulled her closer and placed her lips on the top of Clarke’s head. “Never.” She mumbled against it.


	9. Chapter 9

Lexa ran a hand through her hair as she stared down at her coffee at seven in the morning, last night's events weighed heavily on her mind. It was decided she hated parties. Her hand still throbbed painfully when from when she had punched Finn repeatedly in the face. Lexa felt nothing but red when she saw Finn pressing Clarke against the wall, and the fear in Clarke’s eyes. She thought there was no stopping her.

 

She should have been incredibly happy. Clarke had told her that she liked and Lexa felt her heart stop. Yes, Clarke may have been drunk but Lexa always had been a believer that alcohol makes people say the truth. That had given Lexa the courage to tell Clarke the next morning how deep her feelings for Clarke went. But then everything had gone down hill from there.

 

Who allowed two fifteen years olds to play beer pong? When Anya had dragged her away from Clarke, her first thought was that something had happened to her and Raven but when she saw Aden and Nym challenging to seniors to beer pong and winning, Lexa knew that the party for her was over. She was just surprised that Anya hadn’t lost her temper already.

 

Both Anya and Lexa were content to watch the two of them landing the ball in ever cup, but Lexa recognized the two guys and she knew she had to intervene quite quickly. The two guys were on the football team and they didn’t do well with being embarrassed.

 

They had grabbed each teen by their collar and dragged them away to a secluded spot. Anya’s were slightly dazed and Lexa had no idea whether Aden and Nym had been drinking, that meant Lexa had to get them all home. When she couldn’t find Clarke, she only panicked a little.

 

She took a big sip from her coffee ignoring the way it scorched her throat. She hadn’t slept at all last night. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was Aden and Nym being beaten and Lexa just watching from a distance; the worst was just the look of absolute fear on Clarke’s face. Lexa spent most of the night sitting in Clarke’s kitchen, tidying whether she could. Eventually her cousins will wake up and Lexa will have to deal with Aden and Nym, and soon Clarke will come downstairs and Lexa will have to deal with that. Now that she was alone Lexa had time to think.

 

“Maybe I should be more concerned that there are a bunch of teens asleep in my living room,” Lexa jumped slightly at the sudden voice and glanced over to see Clarke’s Mom leaning against the doorway. “You must be Lexa?”

 

She nodded, “I’m sorry. They’re my family; I should have taken them home instead of assuming they could sleep on your couch. I just-“

 

“Is Clarke sleeping?” She asked.

 

“Yeah she is,” Lexa tapped her fingers on the table nervously “Do you want me to make you some coffee?”

Clarke’s Mom cocked an eyebrow up at her but nodded, “Please.”

 

Lexa jumped off the chair started making another round of coffee. “Do you take any sugar, Mrs. Griffin?”

 

“No, and you can call me Abby,” She said, “It seems only fitting that my daughter’s girlfriend calls me by name.” Abby gave Lexa a comforting smile and Lexa felt as if a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.

 

She handed Abby her cup before sitting back in her seat. “Is this the conversation where you tell me if I ever hurt your daughter the cops will never find my body?” Lexa asked smiling a little.

 

Abby laughed into her cup, shaking her head. “Usually that is the speech that I would give Clarke’s boyfriend or girlfriend, but I don’t feel like I have to with you. I haven’t seen Clarke this happy in a long while, and I have you to thank for that.”

 

Lexa fidgeted in her chair. “I’m sure it wasn’t all me,”

 

“I hear you’ve been helping Clarke boost her grades up and you’ve made her see the enjoyment in drawing again,” Abby took a sip of her drink, not breaking eye contact with Lexa. “You’ve done a lot more than you think.”

 

“Clarke deserves to be happy.” Lexa meant every word and Abby knew that she meant it.

 

“I’m sure Clarke told you how I acted the other night,” Abby said and Lexa nodded. “I wanted to explain to you why I acted the way I did. It was my first night off in a while and I just assumed that I would spend it with Clarke. It was not fair for her or you to try and stop her from going out. Ever since Jake died I threw myself into work, taking as many shifts as I could get until I was ready. It was foolish to think Clarke’s life would stop until I was ready,”

 

Abby stared solemnly into her cup; Lexa gave Abby a comforting smile when she finally looked up. “I understand. Have you tried telling Clarke this?”

 

“She wouldn’t listen to me,”

 

“You won’t know unless you tried. I don’t know if this will help but when my Mom is on leave for a couple of weeks, we tell each other everything. Otherwise we’ll drift away from each other,” Lexa threaded her fingers together and rested them on the table. “You and Clarke need each other.”

 

The conversation drifted into silence as Abby allowed the words to sink in. It wasn’t until all the coffee had been drunk until Abby spoke again, “So Lexa, what are your plans for the future?”

 

“I want to do family law. They’re families and children especially that need help and I want to help them,” Lexa said, and Abby nodded her head in agreement.

 

“That’s a very honorable thing to do,” Abby said. “What made you want to choose that type of law?”

 

“I’ve seen what a messy divorce and a terrible custody battle can do to a child, and I want to make it as easy and as painless as possible because kids don’t deserve that,” Lexa swallowed heavily. She hated talking about it. Everything may be fine now, but Lexa still remembers sitting beside her Mom watching her Uncle Gus desperately fighting to try and win both Anya and Aden from his emotionally manipulative wife. It was painful to watch him almost lose that battle, and Aden’s tear stained cheeks. Anya who had always been brave and tough was now terrified and Lexa hated it. She didn’t want anybody to feel that way ever again.

 

“I see,” Abby didn’t pry and Lexa was thankful for that. It wasn’t her story to tell.

 

There was a grumbling from the living room and the sound of movement. “Looks like they’re awake, I’ll take them home.” Lexa said, standing up.

 

“There’s no need for you to rush off,” Abby stood up, placing her empty cup into the sink. “I’ll make you all breakfast, it’s been a while since I’ve cooked for a bunch of teenagers.” Abby smiled, and Lexa slowly sat back down just as a half asleep Aden and Nym stumbled their way into the kitchen.

 

“Did somebody say breakfast?” Aden asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. His grin widened when he noticed Lexa wasn’t alone in the kitchen. “You must be Mrs. Griffin. I’m Aden and this is my friend Nym. Thank you for not kicking us out straight away. Your coach is great to sleep on.”

 

Lexa shook her head at Aden’s energy and Nym just waved. “It nice to meet the two of you,” Abby said starting to get ingredients out to start making breakfast.

 

“Is Anya still asleep?” Lexa asked.

 

“She’s texting Raven,” Nym answered.

 

“She said she’ll be in soon,” Aden said immediately afterwards. Abby’s eyes lit up with amusement at their antics. “So what’s for breakfast?”

 

“I was thinking waffles. Lexa do you mind waking Clarke up.” Lexa nodded before jumping from her chair and took the stairs two at a time, not slowing down until she stood outside Clarke’s door. She took a deep breath before knocking softly and walking into the room.

 

She expected Clarke to still be asleep when she walked into the room, so she froze to the spot when she saw Clarke pacing the length of her room still dressed in the shorts and vest top that she was sleeping in. The words got stuck in Lexa’s throat.

 

“Lexa? Hey, I wondered where you were when I woke up this morning,” Clarke stopped pacing and stood in front of Lexa. “I’m actually glad you haven’t left. I wanted to talk to you,”

 

Lexa cleared her throat as she found her voice “About what?”

 

“Last night, it was eventful,” Clarke bit her lip. “How’s your hand?”

 

“It’ll heal, I’m more concerned about you,” Lexa didn’t want to move away from the door. The air in the room felt thick and Lexa had no idea what would happen next.

 

“Finn’s a dick, I tend not to listen to what he says to me.”

 

“Good, because everything he said was bullshit. People are going to love you. I-“ Lexa stopped herself before she could say anymore but it was obvious what she was going to say next.

 

Clarke’s eyes widened as she stared at Lexa. “Did you just-?”

 

“Nope!” Lexa said. She started to panic; she never once planned on telling Clarke that she loved her, not this soon anyway. “I wasn’t going to say anything else.”

 

Clarke took a step closer to her and Lexa took a step back until her back hit the door. “Lexa,” Clarke’s voice was low and husky, and Lexa’s throat went dry when Clarke’s body was an inch from Lexa’s. “Last night made me realize something.”

 

“Realize what?”

 

“That I really want to kiss you,” Clarke said, her eyes dropping down to Lexa’s lips. Lexa leaned in and placed her lips against Clarke’s before her brain could catch up to what she was doing. Clarke gripped onto Lexa’s waist and pulled her closer as she kissed back. Lexa swallowed down a moan that threatened to escape, as she tangled her hand into Clarke’s blonde hair.

 

Clarke kissed her harder and Lexa moved her hands down and picked up Clarke who wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist, not once removing her lips from Lexa’s. She bit down slightly on Clarke’s lips, and she moaned into Lexa’s mouth.

 

Lexa felt a fire start in the pit of her stomach at the sound and that only surged Lexa more. She moved away from the door and slowly moved to Clarke’s bed, kissing down Clarke’s jaw and down her neck. Clarke’s grip on Lexa’s shoulder’s tightened, as Lexa sat down on the edge of the bed and Clarke straddled Lexa’s hips.

 

“Fuck,” Clarke hissed as Lexa sucked harder on the base of her neck. “Fuck, Lex.”

 

She kissed the spot then back up to Clarke’s lips. “Is this okay?”

 

Clarke stared at her, a grin stretching her lips “It’s definitely okay,” Clarke pressed her lips back to Lexa’s, kissing her furiously and Lexa replied back just as eagerly. To think that they could have been doing this the entire time, instead of just dancing around each other. Lexa doesn’t think she would be able to stop.

Clarke pushed her down on the bed and hovered over her. “Hey,” She whispered, smiling softly.

 

“Hey,” Lexa replied back, and she allowed herself her eyes to wander over Clarke’s face. Her blue eyes were dark as she gazed back down at Lexa and her lips were swollen. She looked breathtaking, and that’s what she told she told her.

 

Clarke blushed and sat up, her legs on either side of Lexa. She sat up slightly, and leant on her arms. “What are we doing?” She asked softly.

 

“I have no idea,” Lexa replied, “But I like it.”

 

“I like it too.” Clarke admitted, “Now that we started I don’t think I can stop.”

 

“Then don’t,” Lexa whispered, her lips curling up into a smirk. Clarke grinned at her before swooping down and kissing Lexa again, and she was certain her heart had exploded out of her chest when she kissed Clarke back.

 

“Clarke! Lexa! Breakfast’s ready!” A voice shouted from downstairs and Clarke tore her lips away from Lexa’s, groaning.

 

“Was that my Mom?” She asked softly, and Lexa resisted the urge to continue kissing her.

 

“I forgot to tell you,” Lexa said sitting up, her face inches away from Clarke as she rested her hands on Clarke’s thighs, “Your Mom made waffles.”

 

“My Mom’s home?” Clarke asked, hope in her eyes.

 

“Yeah and we better get down there,” Lexa said, “Because I think your Mom likes me and I don’t think she would appreciate seeing us in the position.”

 

Heat crept up Clarke’s neck and hastily rushed off of Lexa’s lap, and she immediately missed the contact. “I forgot to ask about your hand,”

 

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” Lexa lied, and she knew Clarke didn’t believe her but thankfully she didn’t bring it up. “After you,”

 

“We need to talk about this, though,”

 

Lexa stood up and walked over to Clarke and gently grabbed a hold of her hands, “I’m not going anywhere. Talk to me after you’ve talked to your Mom.”

 

Clarke nodded, a bright smile on her face. “Thank you,” She whispered.

 

“For what?” Lexa asked confused.

 

“I don’t know, but I’m sure you did something,” Clarke leaned over and quickly pressed her lips against Lexa’s. “Come on,” She pulled Lexa towards the door, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Did you know waffles are my favorite?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really couldn't make Abby be a bad parent, Clarke needs at least one parent in her life. Also, I apologize if the scene between Lexa and Clarke was awful. I haven't really written scenes like that before, but I tried.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, sorry it's been almost a month. I've had mock exams, which I attempted to revise for. But I'm off for easter now so I should be able to update a bit faster than usual.

Tonight, was the Lexa’s birthday and it was also the night that Clarke was going to tell Lexa how she felt. Clarke wasn’t sure she could wait any longer to tell Lexa that she loved her. It felt as if it was just eating her alive. After the morning of the party, Clarke was no longer afraid that Lexa would reject her, the thought of spending the rest of her life regretting the fact that she was too afraid to tell a girl that she loved her. Clarke liked to think she was braver than that. Well, she liked to think she was brave enough.

 

 Clarke took a steady breath as she gripped onto the steering wheel. She was parked up outside of Lexa’s house, building up the courage to exit the car and see Lexa for the first time properly since the morning after the party. Exams were fast approaching and Clarke had been introduced to Lexa being in full study mode. If Clarke wasn’t madly in love with the girl, then she would be greatly intimidated by the intensity that Lexa applies to all her studies. Clarke decided that she couldn’t be around Lexa when she tried to study, not when all she wanted to do was kiss the brunette.

 

She grabbed the present that was placed on the passenger side, and Clarke held it nervously in her hands. She had been stressing about what to get Lexa for weeks before she had found something that was just perfect for Lexa, but that doesn’t mean that Clarke wasn’t insanely nervous about giving it to her.  She knocked gently on the front door, she could hear yelling from inside the house and the door was thrown open and Aden grinned at her.

 

“Clarke!” He ushered Clarke inside and shut the door gently behind her. “You came!”

 

“Well I hadn’t seen my girlfriend properly for like a week,” Clarke grinned back, a warm feeling enveloped her when she called Lexa her girlfriend. Clarke was desperate to make it official between the two of them. She would never have guessed that all this pretending would be so hard.

 

“Yeah, Lexa takes exams very seriously. If she had her way then Lexa would stay closed off in her room, surrounded by all her books,” Aden led her into the living room where everybody else was. “Lexa, your better half is here!”

 

Lexa’s head snapped up in their direction, excitement in her eyes as she jumped up from where she was sitting. “Hey, you,” She said, placing a gentle kiss on Clarke’s cheek.

 

“Hey,” Clarke said, before thrusting the present into Lexa’s hands. “I got you something.”

 

“You didn’t have to get me anything at all,” Lexa told her and Clarke just rolled her eyes.

 

“Of course, I was going to get you something,” Clarke couldn’t resist quickly kissing Lexa’s lips. There was a dazed look in Lexa’s eyes when she moved away.

 

“I’ll open it later,” Lexa whispered, before placing the present on the table. Lexa took hold of Clarke’s hand and led her further into the living room. Anya sat in the corner her eyes glued to her phone, Aden, and Nym were gathered around the front of the TV Wii controllers in their hands as they played Mario Kart.

 

“Clarke,” Gus appeared from the kitchen and walked over to them pulling Clarke into a quick hug. “I hope you’re hungry, I’ve made a ton of food.”

 

“I’m starving!” Clarke said. She had learned the hard way that denying food from Gus was a bad idea, he always made more than enough and Clarke always seemed to feel bad if she barely touches her food.

 

“Good. I don’t want you girls running off upstairs until after we’ve eaten okay?” There was a teasing smile on his face but that didn’t stop their faces from turning a bright red. Gus let out a loud laugh before disappearing back into the kitchen.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Lexa said quietly as she and Clarke sat down on the couch, sitting far too closer together then any friends should. “It’s felt like forever since I’ve last seen you.”

 

“Because it has been,” Clarke answered resting her legs over the top of Lexa’s. “We have a lot to talk about it.”

 

“All good things I hope,” Lexa asked, but Clarke could see how nervous she was. All Clarke wanted to do was kiss her and reassure her that everything between them was going to be okay. But before Clarke had a chance to speak a controller was tossed in her lap.

 

“You two need to stop making out and play Mario Kart,” Aden told them. Clarke grinned as she slipped off Lexa’s lap, a competitive glint in her eyes.

 

“There is no point in you guys even trying,” Clarke said smirking. “Are you playing babe?” Her tone was daring as she cocked an eyebrow up at the girl. Their talk can wait for later tonight. Lexa rolled her eyes but didn’t hesitate to sit on the floor with them and pick up one of the remaining controllers.

 

Clarke knows that she has the tendency to get a bit too competitive when she plays games, it’s why she’s no longer allowed to play monopoly, she also has a slight habit of getting too cocky when she has a winning streak going. It didn’t help her case either when Lexa, Aden, and Nym were all terrible at Mario Kart, and Clarke continued to let them know that.

 

“You guys suck!” Clarke said after they had finished another race and had started another one. Aden grumbled something when Clarke once again had taken first place. “You guys are so far behind.” She didn’t realize that the reason they were so far behind is because they had stopped playing altogether.

 

“Guys-“ Clarke asked, squealing in surprise when a sudden pair of arms wrapped around her waist pulling her backward into a body and two hands started tickling her sides.

 

“Do you accept surrender?” Lexa asked, her breath hot against Clarke’s cheek. She squirmed trying to get away from the fingers there tickling her relentlessly.

 

“Never!”  She yelled, twisting to the side and tearing herself out of Lexa’s grip. “I will never surrender!” Lexa laughed, following her and Clarke was momentarily distracted by how beautiful Lexa sounded when she laughed that Lexa managed to catch her again.

 

“Surrender!” Lexa grabbed onto her wrists and wrestled her to the ground. Clarke grinned, she wouldn’t be going down this easily.

 

“Lexa get off!” She cried, giggling. She wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist and turned them around so that she was on top. Lexa’s lips dropped slightly in surprise, and Clarke desperately wanted to kiss her. She managed to stop herself from leaning down and capturing Lexa’s lips by telling herself that they can do that as much as they want once they’ve talked. Instead, she smirked triumphantly. “I think you should be the one to surrender.”

 

Lexa frowned and glanced over to Aden and Nym, “I thought you were on my side?”

 

“We’re on the winner’s side,” Nym said and Aden nodded eagerly.

 

She huffed irritably before looking back up at Clarke, “I don’t surrender.”

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow, the smirk not leaving her face, “Not even for me?”

 

 She watched as Lexa bit her bottom lip and she has no idea how she managed to keep her composure when Lexa did that, but she did and Clarke gave herself a mental pat on her back.

 

“Fine,” Lexa mumbled.

 

“Sorry? I don’t think I heard you,” Clarke teased.

 

“I surrender,” Lexa said louder. “Are you happy now?”

 

“Extremely happy,” She winked at Lexa before clambering off Lexa and sitting on the sofa. Lexa sat up, her cheeks bright red and Clarke felt herself smirk slightly at the knowledge that she was the reason why Lexa looked all flustered.

 

“I don’t think you guys should play Mario Kart with Clarke again,” Anya said, and Clarke forgot for a moment that she was still here, that it wasn’t just her and Lexa alone in the room.

 

“We’ll just have to find a game that I’m good at,” Lexa said, her greens eyes darkened as she stared at Clarke. “Like Chess.”

 

“I’m actually really good at Chess,” Clarke said, shrugging like it was no big deal. “My Dad taught me.”

 

“Really? We’ll have to have a game at some point.” Lexa suggested, hope evident in her eyes. Clarke can’t believe that she was ever nervous that Lexa didn’t like her back. She was almost certain that Lexa loved her back, however. Clarke hadn’t been this terrified in a long while, and she couldn’t’ wait for another second to not tell Lexa how she felt.

 

“Lexa, can I talk to you for a moment?” She asked. Lexa nodded before standing up and took Clarke’s hand in her own.

 

“Tell Uncle Gus, that we’re just in my room,” Lexa said before she led Clarke upset squeezing her hand reassuringly, grabbing her present from Clarke as she did so. Once they were inside the room, Lexa shut the door and turned to face Clarke. She remembered last time they were in a room facing each other, it felt as if they couldn’t tear themselves away from each other and if they hadn’t been interrupted then who knows how far they would have gone.

 

Every time Clarke came into Lexa’s room, she would spend as long as she could just looking at everything that Lexa had in her room. There was a long period of silence as Clarke looked at the wall of a bookshelf that was ordered alphabetically, with the odd photograph of Lexa with a family member decorating the shelves.

 

“Open the present first,” Clarke told her, standing near the desk. It was best that she was standing a slight distance away from Lexa until they’ve spoken about everything. Clarke knows that it takes practically everything that she has to resist kissing Lexa.

 

“Okay,” Lexa whispered, and delicately ripped the wrapping paper. Clarke nibbled nervously on her thumb and she impatiently watched as Lexa placed the wrapper in her bin and stared intently at the book that Clarke had gotten her.

 

“It’s a limited edition copy of Persuasion by Jane Austen,” Clarke explained trying not to make it obvious that she was incredibly nervous. “You said ages ago that she was one of your favorite authors, and that book is supposed to be really good.”

 

Lexa traced her fingers over the letters, “This must have been really expensive.”

 

“Cost doesn’t matter, you’re worth it,” Clarke said softly. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves as her eyes followed Lexa to her bookshelf, where she carefully but the book on the shelf in the correct place. “I feel like now is the best time to talk.”

 

“Now?” Lexa asked leaning against the bookcase, her fingers playing with each other.

 

“Yes, now,” Clarke cleared her throat, before continuing to speak. “I feel as if I don’t’ say what’s on my mind now then I’m going to explode.”

 

Lexa nodded but didn’t say anything and Clarke took that as her chance to continue speaking, “this past couple of months, have changed something or has made something very clear to me. You’re amazing in every possible way and me kind of hate that about you because it makes it impossible to not spend every waking moment thinking of you. I never thought I would feel this happy after my Dad died, but every time I’m with you, it’s like I’m walking on air.”

 

“Really?” Lexa asked hesitantly. Clarke reached over and grabbed a hold of Lexa’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

 

“It’s kind of terrifying how happy you make me,” Clarke answered truthfully, bringing Lexa’s hands to her lips and kissed the back of her hand. “I’ve been building up the courage to do this for a long time now. You know, you’re the reason that why I started up drawing up again, and I can’t thank you enough for that. I just can’t find the appropriate words to tell you how I feel.”

 

“You don’t have to rush.”

 

“I’ve made myself agree to something,” Clarke asked, swallowing heavily when she looked Lexa in the eyes. She could stare at them all day.

 

“Like what?” Lexa asked, and Clarke found her cheeks heat up with slight embarrassment.

 

“I can’t kiss you until we talk,” It sounded stupid now that she said it out loud and she wished that she could take it back. She looked down at the floor, avoiding Lexa’s eyes. She felt a gentle pressure on her cheek, and she looked at Lexa in surprise.

 

“That doesn’t mean that I can’t kiss you,” Lexa whispered as she kissed the corner of Clarke’s mouth.

 

Clarke opened and closed her mouth as she tried to find the words to say, but all that came out were stutters when Lexa started kissing down her cheek and jaw and placing small kisses along her neck.

 

“You can continue talking,” Lexa said against her neck, before kissing it and Clarke felt her knees buckle. She gripped onto the desk behind her to keep herself steady.

 

“Right… Well, I…” She gasped slightly when Lexa started to suck softly on her skin, a hand holding onto her waist as Lexa pulled Clarke in closer. “God. I had a whole speech prepared and everything. Fuck- fuck it. Lexa I-“

 

“Lexa! Come down please,” Gus called upwards, Clarke groaned loudly at the interruption. “There’s a surprise for you!”

 

Lexa moved away, smiling apologetically at Clarke, “Give me a minute!”

 

“A minute!” Clarke’s face scrunched up in confusion, she didn’t recognize that voice. “It’s been over nine months and you want another minute!”

 

Lexa’s face lit up as she pulled the door open, “Wait, who is that?” Clarke asked catching a hold of Lexa’s hand.

 

“It’s my Mom!” If it were possible Clarke was certain that Lexa’s grin would split her face in two, she had never seen the girl smile this much. Clarke tried to ask if they could quickly finish their conversation, she was so close to admitting it to Lexa that she would only need another minute. Except Lexa grabbed a hold of her hand and dragged her down the stairs. Clarke promised herself that eventually, she would tell Lexa how she feels without all these damn interruptions.


	11. Chapter 11

For as long as Lexa could remember she had always had an answer for who her hero was, and she didn’t care how cliché it sounded. Ann Woods would always be Lexa’s hero, and that’s not just because of the many years that she had spent serving in the military but how strong and resilient she always seemed to be when she came home. It always amazed Lexa how her Mom went from a soldier, to a caring and dedicated Mother. Lexa could only hope that she was becoming at least half the woman her Mom is.

 

She really wasn’t a big fan of surprises, and this was definitely a surprise. When she had spoken to her Mom last week, she had told her that she wouldn’t be back for another month. The last thing she was expecting was for her Mom to show up on her birthday. Lexa had decided that there were some exceptions to the to her opinions on surprises. As soon as her foot stepped off the stairs, Lexa let go of Clarke’s hand and flung herself into her Mother’s arms. It had been far too long since she had hugged her Mom.

 

“I didn’t think you were coming back until next month,” Lexa said, her chin resting on her Mom’s shoulder as the pair hugged each other tighter.

 

“Surprise,” Her Mom said, before stepping back and taking a hold of Lexa’s face. “Now, let me get a good look at you.”

 

Lexa never knew her Dad, but she never really minded. The absence of a Father didn’t really have much of an impact on Lexa growing up, her Mom filled in for the role of a Father and Lexa had always considered Uncle Gus to be more like a Father as the years passed. Her Mom was only a couple of years older than Lexa was and was already enlisted in the army when she found out she was pregnant with Lexa, and from then on, she had juggled her life in the military and becoming a Mother all on her own.

 

“My little girl is eighteen years old,” Her Mom gushed and Lexa smiled, only slightly embarrassed by all the praise that her Mom was giving her. “Well you’re not so little anymore I guess.” She peered over Lexa’s shoulder and she followed her gaze. Clarke hovered on the stairs, a hand gripped onto the banister as she silently observed the interaction between Lexa and her Mom. Lexa gave her a reassuring smile and gently grabbed a hold of Clarke’s hand, only now just remembering the conversation that they were having upstairs.

 

Lexa licked her lips before speaking, “Mom, this is my girlfriend Clarke Griffin. Clarke this is my Mom.”

 

Clarke held out her hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Lexa could see how nervous Clarke was, and she softly squeezed her hand.

 

Her Mom grinned, taking a hold of Clarke’s hand and shaking it. “Girlfriend? Well it’s about time!”

 

Lexa rolled her eyes at her Mom’s teasing, “You say that like I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”

 

“Not one that I’ve liked this much,” Her Mom grinned and Lexa felt her cheeks heat up even more. Her Mom’s approval secretly meant everything to her, and Lexa knew that it wouldn’t be hard for her Mom to like Clarke, especially since Clarke was amazing.

 

“How long are you staying for this time?” Lexa asked, mentally preparing herself for her Mom to say that she was leaving in only a couple of weeks. That was probably the worst part, having to say goodbye.

 

“That’s the other surprise,” Her Mom grinned, and rocked back and forth on heels, “I’m here to stay. That was my last tour.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Seriously, kiddo.” She grinned and Lexa couldn’t help but hug her Mom again. “I’ve still got some things to work out with Gus, but I’m here now.”

 

“This is great! You’ll be here for my graduation and when I got to College and for everything,” Lexa tried to contain her excitement but it seemed almost impossible, as a child it was all she ever wanted. Though she didn’t ever hold it against her Mom for not being able to be there for some of her birthdays, when it was her turn to blow out the candles the only thing she wished for her Mom to be there.

 

“Dinners ready!” Uncle Gus called from the kitchen and Lexa felt as if the smile on her face would never leave. Her Mom gave her one last squeeze and then disappeared into the kitchen, but not before she sent a quick wink to Lexa.

 

“Your Mom looks exactly like you,” Clarke whispered into her ear and Lexa nodded.

 

“Did you hear that?”  Lexa asked practically bouncing with excitement. “My Mom’s not going back to the army.”

 

“Lexa, it’s amazing,” Clarke said and Lexa couldn’t help but agree. It really was amazing, the only thing that could better it was…. Lexa bit her lip, suddenly remembering the conversation that she and Clarke were having upstairs in her room.

 

“I’m sorry, I basically abandoned our conversation upstairs. What were you saying?” Lexa asked. The pounding of her heart, reminding Lexa of what she wanted Clarke to say.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Clarke said softly, “It can wait. For now, go and enjoy your birthday with you Mom.”

 

“If you’re there with me,” Lexa said grinning when Clarke had a bashful smile on her face, “It’ll be the best birthday ever.”

 

“You’re such a charmer.” Clarke shook her head and dragged Clarke into the kitchen where everybody was waiting for two of them. Lexa had her suspicions on what Clarke was going to tell her upstairs, but Lexa didn’t want to make assumptions and make Clarke feel uncomfortable.  Lexa would rather do anything than make Clarke uncomfortable. She waited for Clarke to take a seat before sitting beside her.

 

Lexa was never much of a sentimental person, well she tried not to be. Yet, here she was surrounded by the people that she loved most in the world. Her Mom took control of the conversation, asking everybody questions and catching up on everything that she had missed over the past year.

 

“Lexa, you still want to be a lawyer, right? You haven’t changed your mind?”

 

“Yeah, that’s still a goal of mine,” Lexa said, “I’ve applied to a couple of schools. I haven’t decided which one I want to go to yet.”

 

“What about you Clarke?” Her Mom asked, and Lexa looked nervously between the two, “What are you plans for the future?”

 

“I’ve completed a couple of applications for a major in art but I haven’t sent any of them out yet,” Lexa’s face scrunched together in confusion. Clarke had never brought up going colleges. Lexa was under the impression that Clarke didn’t want to go.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because at the beginning of the year my grades were really terrible and I didn’t think there was any point. But,” Clarke paused to take a quick sip of her drink, her eyes glancing towards Lexa for support. Lexa smiled softly, and rested a hand on her knee. “My grades recently have gotten a lot better and I’ve found my love for drawing again because of Lexa. So, I decided why not.”

 

Lexa couldn’t resist placing a soft kiss on Clarke’s cheeks, letting her lips linger there. “If that’s the case maybe you should consider sending them off. Anya, have you got a girlfriend?”

 

Anya rolled her eyes as she stabbed her chicken a little more forcefully than necessary, “Why don’t you ever ask me if I’ve applied for College?”

 

“Because not once have you ever changed your mind about being a history professor,” Her Mom grinned into her wine glass. “So, have you got a girlfriend?”

 

“Kind of,” Anya muttered, not making eye contact with anybody in the room.

 

“Have you finally asked Raven out?” Lexa asked, unable to stop herself from blurting it out.

 

Anya shot her a glare telling her to shut up, “No.”

 

“Did she ask you out?” Aden asked and Anya set her death glare on him. “No. We haven’t made anything official yet.” She hissed out. Lexa grinned over at Aden who wore the same cheeky grin that she did.

 

“How about we leave Anya alone,” Uncle Gus interrupted before Aden and herself could start teasing Anya. Aden huffed in his chair before shoving more food in his mouth, and Clarke found Lexa’s hand under the table.

 

Dinner ended not long after that and everybody else headed into the living room to watch a film except for Clarke and Lexa who headed towards the front door. “Are you sure you can’t stay any longer?” Lexa asked, tugging on Clarke’s hand.

 

“Night in with my Mom,” Clarke said smiling, “Otherwise, you know I would stay.”

 

“Fine,” Lexa said pouting, “But I’m walking you to your car though.”

 

“Fair enough,” The two walked outside and stopped beside Clarke’s car, neither of them ready to say goodnight. “Before you wanted to be lawyer, what did you want to be?”

 

“It’s embarrassing,” Lexa muttered.

 

“Even more reason to tell me,” Clarke grinned and leaned on the door of her car.

 

“I wanted to be a knight,” Lexa mumbled, shoving her hands into her pockets.

 

Clarke laughed, the sound making Lexa’s heart soar, “Why a knight?”

 

“I always wanted to save the princess.” Lexa could feel her confidence growing with the longer the she looked at Clarke. In her heart, she was certain that Clarke was going to confess her feelings to her. But maybe she was confusing certainty for hope. Lexa let out a shaky breath as her thoughts began to fight each other. There were two ways that this evening could finish, Lexa could either kiss Clarke’s cheek and wish her goodnight, or she could gather up all her courage and finally get the princess. There was still an ounce of fear though, that Lexa had conjured all of this up in her head. That Clarke’s feelings for her did not extend past friendship. But as Dr. Seuss said, _“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”_ And love was worth the risk.

 

“What?” Clarke asked breathlessly, her eyes widening. Lexa’s face scrunched up, till she realized that she had said it out loud. “Did you just…?

 

“No- Yes,” Lexa answered quickly, trying to calm her racing heart. Well there was no point in backtracking now. Time to take the bull by the horns. “I meant what I said. Yeah, I was supposed to say it in my head, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I’ve loved you for the longest time now, and I’m fed up of pretending. I’m fed up of everybody believing that we’re a couple and we have to hold hands in public, hug and kiss. I don’t want it to be fake anymore. Screw all this pretending shit. I want you. I want to love you until the end of time, because I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”

 

There was a moment of silence between them. Lexa didn’t dare saying anything more, waiting for Clarke to say something, “You bitch,”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You beat me to it! I had a whole speech prepared telling you that I loved you and when we were interrupted I was going to tell you now, but you beat me to it and you did it so perfectly that it puts my speech to shame!” Clarke said and Lexa blinked a couple of times.

 

“I’m sorry?” She said, unsure of what was happening.

 

“Don’t be.” Clarke said before stepping forward and crashing her lips onto Lexa’s, who’s arms wrapped around Clarke’s waist pulling her in closer. It was nothing like Lexa was expecting, she was expecting rehearsed speeches over a romantic dinner where she would tell Clarke how she felt, this way was spontaneous and rushed but it Lexa thought it was perfect. And this kiss, was the best kiss that they’ve had so far.

 

They moved away from each other, their footsteps resting against each other as they breathed heavily. “Did you tell me you loved me with a Dr. Seuss quote?”

 

“I did, if I had enough time I probably could have thought of a better one.” Lexa admitted, tracing light patterns on Clarke’s back, where here hand had slipped under Clarke’s shirt.

 

“The quote was perfect. I just can’t believe you remembered a quote like that,” Clarke said her fingers messing the belt loops of Lexa’s jeans. “You’re such a dork.”

 

“Doesn’t matter, I’m your dork.”

 

“My dork? I think I like the sound of that.” Clarke whispered, before leaning in and placing a long kiss on Lexa’s lips. “Is this it? No more pretending, you and I are girlfriends for real?”

 

“Clarke Griffin, will you do me the honour of making the luckiest person to ever walk the earth and become my girlfriend,” Lexa asked, unable to keep the grin off her face and it grew when Clarke nodded.

 

“Of course, you dork,” She said laughing.

 

“I love you,” Lexa whispered.

 

“I love you more,” Clarke whispered back, and Lexa knew she had never been this happy before. It felt as if her heart would soon explode right out of her chest, but she knew that it wouldn’t happen. Not because it was biological impossible for that to happen, but because Clarke had the entirety of her heart to do what she wanted with it. It was now beating for Clarke and Lexa knew it would always beat for Clarke.

 

“Impossible,” Lexa muttered before kissing Clarke again. Her eighteenth certainly was her best birthday, and it has everything to do with the girl that she loved loving her back and her Mom coming home. Lexa felt like nothing bad will ever faze her again as long as those two things were a constant in her life. At some point, the two managed to say goodnight to each other, and Lexa watched as Clarke’s car drove away feeling as if she was on top of the world, oblivious to how fast she was crashing back to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it finally happened. I think we were all getting sick of those interruptions ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy guys, I'm so sorry this took so long to update but I have finally finished my A-Levels and now on Holiday until September. So I'm definitely going to be updating more regularly. I'm glad so many of you loved the last chapter and I hope I didn't disappoint on this one :D

 Clarke pressed her phone between her ear and shoulder as she walked into her living room carrying a box of wrapped Christmas presents in both hands, a content smile was on her face as she spoke, “I miss you too,”        Raven made a gagging noise behind her, but Clarke just ignored her friend and focused on Lexa’s voice.

 

“I bet I miss you more though,” Lexa replied, and Clarke’s smile was practically giddy at this point, “It’s only been three days since I last saw you, but not seeing you is driving me crazy.”

 

It had been a week since Lexa and herself had finally admitted their feelings for one another and Clarke still couldn’t get over the fact they were actually together. No pretending or faking, it was just her and Lexa in love and it was wonderful. Since then they had spent every moment possible together and Clarke wouldn’t have had it any other way. It seemed now that there was no doubt in their feelings for one another, Lexa had to become braver in their relationship. Not hesitating to kiss her whenever she wanted or wrap her arms around Clarke in public, Lexa became more daring and smirk at Clarke as if she was challenging her to respond back in the same way. And Clarke took it as a challenge.

 

“I thought seeing me also drove you crazy?” Clarke teased and Lexa groaned. They haven’t had sex yet, it was slowly driving Clarke insane and she could see it was having the same effect on Lexa. They both agreed to take it slow and it seemed to work well on the first day of their official relationship, but every time they found themselves alone in Clarke’s room their kissing sessions always got a little bit too heated and Clarke WAS left in a desperate need for a cold shower afterward.

 

“Babe,” Clarke’s heart pounded at the word, “You’re practically drooling every time you see me in my workout clothes.”

 

Clarke could hear the smirk in Lexa’s voice and her face turned a bright red. It wasn’t her fault that Lexa was incredibly hot after an intense workout, her abs were on show and her skin was coated in a light sheen of skin. The throbbing had returned between her legs and Clarke thought she would need another cold shower.

 

“Clarke, you still there?” Lexa asked the teasing gone from her voice and Clarke cleared her throat.

 

“Yeah, I’m still here,” She placed the presents on the floor and Raven dropped to sit beside them.

 

“Which one’s mine?” Raven asked looking through the name tags of all the presents, not caring that Clarke was on the phone.

 

Clarke rolled her eyes at the girl, “You know I’m not going to tell you. Stop messing with them and put a Christmas film on.” Raven grumbled something but crawling over to the DVD case.

 

“Christmas Eve plans?” Lexa asked, and Clarke hummed in agreement.

 

“Raven and I always spend Christmas together,” Clarke said, lying back on the couch, “What are your plans for Christmas?”

 

“Just relaxing with Uncle Gus, Anya, and Aden, except this year, is going to be better because my Mom is home this time,” Lexa exclaimed and Clarke was happy for her. How could she not be? It was as if the happiness that radiated off Lexa was more than enough for Clarke to be happy as well. But she wanted what Lexa had this year during Christmas. She wanted to spend surrounded by her loved ones and it just hadn’t been the same since her Dad died. Her Mom tried to be with her during Christmas Day but Clarke could always tell her heart wasn’t in it. She still cooked the same food that she always had but their traditions had changed and Clarke knew it was for the best. It wouldn’t be the same without her Dad being there with them. It wasn’t too bad, she still had Raven and her Mom, and sometimes Octavia if she hadn’t gone her annual ski trip with Bellamy. Except for this year, it’s just Raven and herself, and they both knew that this Christmas would probably suck.

 

Raven sat beside Clarke’s head, pressingly play on the DVD and the beginning sounds of Elf filled the room, “Which one of us is cooking tomorrow?” Raven asked loud enough for Lexa to be able to hear down the phone, and Clarke inwardly cursed. She didn’t want Lexa to know because she knew the other girl would do something incredibly sweet.

 

“Doesn’t you Mom usually cook?” Lexa asked Clarke could only imagine the adorable head tilt that she would have done when she asked.

 

Clarke sighed heavily, “Mom’s working until late tomorrow night. So, it’s just Raven and me.”

 

Lexa was silent for a minute and Clarke could hear movement on her end, “Do you want me to ask if you want to spend Christmas with us?” It felt as if Clarke’s heart was about to explode out of her chest. Clarke wasn’t going to lie to herself and pretend that she wasn’t secretly hoping that Lexa would offer. But she was terrified of intruding. This was their first Christmas where Lexa would have a complete family and Clarke didn’t want to ruin that.

 

“No, Lexa you don’t have to,” Clarke protested, sitting up suddenly and surprising Raven, who know watched Clarke with curious eyes, “It’s your first Christmas with your Mom back, it’ll just be too much.”

 

“Clarke, trust me with how much food Uncle Gus makes it won’t be an issue having two more mouths to feed. You’ve become just as much my family as they have,” Lexa’s voice was soft and Clarke wanted nothing more than to hug her girlfriend right now, “If you don’t want to then I completely understand.”

 

“You can ask,” Clarke whispered and she knew Lexa was grinning widely. It wasn’t long until Clarke heard her talking to her Mom and Uncle Gus, and Clarke waited with baited breath.

 

“They both said they would love having you here, and Anya perked up when she heard Raven’s name,” Lexa told her and relief flooded Clarke’s body. She glanced over at Raven to see that she had the same expression that Clarke had on her fault. One thing was for certain, and that was that both girls were dreading spending Christmas alone. Raven nodded eagerly at her, “Also, they said your Mom can come over to eat leftovers when she’s done with work. But I think that’s a ploy for them to finally meet.”

 

“We’ll be there, and I’ll talk to my Mom about it when she’s on break,” Clarke told her, “What time shall we get there?”

 

“Aden and Nym want to open presents as early as possible, but Anya won’t wake up until eight, so around then?” Lexa suggested and Clarke agreed with her, “I’ll see you tomorrow then. I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Clarke said before hanging up the phone.

 

“Your love for one another is sickening,” Raven commented, a grin on her face as she leaned into Clarke, “I can’t wait to make a speech about it at your wedding.”

 

Her face heated up and her heart started racing, “You may have to fight Octavia on that one.”

 

“We’ve already discussed it, Octavia and I are doing a joint speech.”

 

“That’s the worst idea ever,” Clarke mumbled before smiling up at Raven, “I can’t wait. Also, you and Octavia need to stop talking about weddings. It’s way too early in the relationship for that.”

 

Raven rolled her eyes and Clarke jabbed her lightly in the side, “Please, you and Lexa are endgame, there’s no way that the two of you aren’t getting married.”

 

Something settled at the bottom of Clarke’s stomach, and she could just imagine her and Lexa standing face to face, both saying ‘I do’. Clarke never realized that she wanted that until just.

 

“What about you and Anya?” Clarke asked and Raven’s eyes widened slightly, “Are the two of you endgame?”

 

“I don’t know,” Raven’s voice was quiet and Clarke had to strain her ears to be able to hear, “I thought I would be with Finn for the rest of my life and look how that turned out. Maybe Anya could be the one. I’m just scared.”

 

Clarke didn’t say anything. She couldn’t say anything. The guilt that she felt was started to crawl up her throat until Clarke was choking on it, and she realized she couldn’t go on like this much longer. She opened her mouth to finally tell Raven the truth when she noticed Raven had turned her attention to the film and Clarke knew she couldn’t tell her now and ruin Christmas for the both of them. She’ll tell her afterward. She had already left it for too long.

  

* * *

 

 

Clarke knocked on the door, a couple of minutes before eight, bouncing up and down in excitement. It was early for the both of them, and usually neither Clarke nor Raven would be functioning at this time but Clarke found herself wide awake and Raven was slowly waking up.

 

The door swung open and Lexa stood there, looking far too adorable in a Star Wars Christmas jumper that Clarke couldn’t resist kissing her. “Merry Christmas,” Clarke whispered as they pulled apart.

 

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Lexa gave her one last kiss before stepping to the side to let them in, “Merry Christmas Raven!”

 

Raven grunted as she stepped into the house behind Clarke, “She’s not a morning person.”

 

Lexa nodded, an amused smile on her face as she led them into the living room, “We’re about to start opening presents in a second. So, just make yourself comfortable.”

 

Clarke almost forgot about the bags of gifts that she was holding and quickly shoved them in Lexa’s hands. She blames the kiss at the door for distracting her about the presents, she also blames the fact that Lexa was just gorgeous in the mornings.

 

“You didn’t have to get anything,” Lexa said, smiling sheepishly as she placed them down next to all the other presents.

 

“I know,” Clarke said, pressing a soft kiss to Lexa’s cheek. Kissing Lexa was easily one of her favorite things to do, even if it was just a simple peck or a full blown heated make-out session, it was still perfect.

 

Clarke had sat down with back pressed against the sofa, and Lexa sitting beside her, holding each other’s hands when everyone else filed into the room. They were all still dressed in their pajamas and the only ones that were hyped up were Aden and Nym, who according to Lexa always spent Christmas with them. Clarke didn’t ask any further questions, but her eyes flitted over to Raven and knew that she wouldn’t even be having a Christmas if she was at home. Lexa’s Mom and Uncle Gus sat on the sofa, each clutching a cup of coffee in their hands as they murmured between themselves. Anya was the last one to show up, and she dropped into the armchair where Raven was sitting. Both girls immediately shifting closer to each other.

 

This was nothing like Clarke had witnessed before. Having Christmas at the Wood’s was so different to having Christmas at her own house and Clarke loved it.  Clarke was used to the quiet, barely talking to one another as they opened their gifts, even with Raven there it just seemed too quiet. Here was different, it wasn’t loud it was just lively. Excitement filled the air along with torn pieces of wrapping paper, and presents were passed around, even Anya smiled at some point. Clarke wasn’t expecting anyone to get her anything, but when Aden handed over her presents that they had brought a lump formed in her throat and she swallowed heavily.

 

“That one is from Nym and me,” Aden said, leaning back on his heels as he handed Clarke a badly wrapped present.

 

“Sorry about the wrapping,” Nym grinned, “Aden wanted to wrap yours.” She smiled at the two of them before opening it, her smile widening when she saw it was a Christmas jumper. It hadn’t taken Clarke long to notice that one of the Wood’s Christmas Traditions, were to all wear horrible jumpers with their last name printed on the back. Clarke thought it was such a dorky family thing to do, but she still thought it was amazing.

 

“Turn it around,” Lexa whispered to her, and Clarke did. Tears gathered in her eyes as she read the name that was printed _HONARY WOOD,_ she delicately traced her fingers along the letters.

 

“You didn’t have to,” She said softly.

 

“Your part of the family,” Aden told her and Clarke’s heart pounded, “You’ll look weird without one.”

 

Clarke didn’t hesitate to reach over and brought both of them into a tight hug, mumbling a thank you to them. She wore the Christmas jumper during the remainder of the time the presents were being opened and she was certain by the end of it, her heart had swelled up to the size of her chest.

 

It was only when all the presents were opened and Uncle Gus went back to the kitchen did Clarke manage to grab Lexa by the hand and pull her away from the living room and up to her room. Both had agreed to exchange gifts in private and Clarke was just hoping that Lexa didn’t find her gift to be terrible.

 

“So, what did you get me?” Lexa asked, as her bedroom door shut, her eyes following Clarke as she sat on the bed.

 

“You’re as bad as Raven sometimes,” Clarke laughed, patting the spot next to her, “Why are you all the way over there?”

 

Lexa walked over to her, but not before grabbing something from inside of her desk. “Who wants to go first?”

 

The present that was in Clarke’s pocket suddenly got heavier and she gestured for Lexa to go first. She handed over the present and wrung her hands together nervously. Clarke gave her a quick kiss before gently unwrapping the present.

 

Her breath caught in her throat when she realized what it was, and she stared up at Lexa in astonishment. It was an incredible art set filled with paints and colored chalks and pencils. Clarke knew that they weren’t made in America, and it was incredibly difficult to find one in such good condition, it was also very expensive.

 

“You’ve been drawing a lot lately, and I wanted to get you something that you’ll use and what you’re making will be amazing and totally worth it. I hope you like them, if not I can return-” Lexa was rambling, and Clarke’s face softened. She placed a hand on top of Lexa’s and her voice quietened.

 

“I absolutely love it. I’ve never gotten a gift like this before,” Clarke said, admiring it one more time. Suddenly, she became embarrassed by the gift that she had gotten Lexa. It was nothing like this, and Clarke wished that she just had more time to be able to find something worthy of the girl.

 

But Lexa was staring at her with excitement in her eyes and Clarke knew she had to give it to her. Hesitantly, she pulled out the small present and handed it over to Lexa. When she was half through unwrapping it, Clarke knew that if she didn’t explain it right now then she was going to burst.

 

“You first told me you loved me by quoting Dr. Seuss, completely ruining my speech that I prepared for you, so this is mine,” She said, watching as Lexa saw a necklace case and slowly opened it with shaky fingers, “I never expected to fall in love with you, but now looking back at it I realize that me loving you was inevitable. You and I are one in the same. Soulmates. It was always supposed to be you and me,”

 

Lexa opened the case to reveal the necklace that Clarke had brought. It was a silver chain with a green gemstone at the end, Lexa glanced from the necklace to Clarke with tear-filled eyes. A moment of panic ran through Clarke till she realized they were happy tears.

 

“I got you a gemstone to show eternity,” Clarke continued, taking the necklace and gently sweeping Lexa’s hair over one shoulder as she Lexa allowed for Clarke to put it on her, “Flowers are great for a moment of happiness, but they die and I don’t want to be a symbol of my love for you. Because I know my love for you is unconditional and will last until I die. I love you so much, Lexa.” She finished her speech with a soft kiss to the back of Lexa’s neck before leaning back slightly.

 

“Clarke, I love it,” Lexa said turning around to face her, tears streaming down her face. Clarke cupped her cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumb.

 

“The necklace or the speech?”

 

“Both. Both were perfect.” Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and rested her forehead against Clarke’s, “You’re perfect.”

 

Clarke shook her head, “No you’re perfect.” Before Lexa could respond, Clarke silenced her with a searing kiss that Lexa responded eagerly too. This was definitely becoming one of the best Christmases ever. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone that has read this story so far. I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave me a review as it really helps :D


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